#more comedy luthor women

[apollo-likes-writing]

Taxi!

Character(s): Reader Insert, Lex Luthor, Poison Ivy/Pamela Isley, Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinnzel, Zoom/Hunter Zolomon, Mr Mxyzptlk, Joker, Nightwing/Dick Grayson, The Flash/Barry Allen, Red Robin/Tim Drake, Green Lantern/Hal Jordan, Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane, Reverse Flash/Eobard Thawne, The Riddler/Edward Nighma, Red Hood/Jason Todd, Batman/Bruce Wayne, Wonder Woman/Diana Prince, Superman/Clark Kent, Darkseid (mentioned)

Summary: You applied for a job as a taxi-driver and somehow managed to get it. A lot of very interesting people now enlist your services.

Word count: 1580

Tags: Comedy, chaos, mentions/inferences of explosives and illegal acts such as murder, decapitation (written with comedy in mind)

Authors Note: Me? Finishing a WIP? You must have the wrong person.

Your job was an interesting one.

It wasn't bad, persay. It payed the bills and kept you off the streets. However, if you told yourself a few months ago that you'd be driving some of the most infamous people on the planet around in your tiny yellow taxi every day, you would've laughed and thrown yourself into a psych ward.

Yet here you are, stationed around Central City, Metropolis and Gotham. As you've recently realised, the people who hire your services are quite the colourful bunch, which has led to some- ahem- interesting conversations...

--

"Ah, Y/N! How are you on this fine evening?"

"Wonderful as always, Mr Luthor. How was your day?" you reply, looking at the billionaire through your rear-view mirror.

"Productive," he answers, "My engineering team are in the process of creating a shield strong enough to stop the Sun's rays from reaching the Earth's surface!"

"How interesting! May I ask what it's for?" you question.

"No, you may not."

--

"--And they don't use petrol or diesel? Are you sure?" Ivy asks, fidgeting with her fingers nervously.

"Yep!" Harley replies, "It's a completely electric taxi to help the environment."

"Alright then." Ivy appears to relax a little. She turns to the road as you slow your car to a stop in front of the two women.

"There's my favourite taxi driver! How'ya doin', sweetheart?" Harley asks, leaning through the window to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"Better now you're here, Harley. Where am I taking you lovely ladies?"

"You flatter us," Ivy smiles as she gets in the car and fastens her seat belt, "Ace Chemicals, please."

You shoot her a thumbs up. "Got it."

"I'd be careful if I were you, kid. I heard that the Big Bad Bat is out tonight." Harley warns.

"Not to worry, Harls. I was born a Gothamite. I know how to hide in the shadows just as much as he does."

Shortly after your shift that night, you open your door at the sound of the doorbell ringing to see a beautiful bouquet of pink roses. Attached to it is a small paper label saying: "Thanks for your help sweetheart, much appreciated. - Ivy." Needless to say, the questions your nosy neighbours keep asking you steadily become more and more difficult to answer.

--

"But- you're a speedster? Why do you need me to drive you around Central City when you could jog and be there in seconds?" you ask, turning on your indicator as you drive around a corner.

"Don't worry about it," replies the voice modulator in Zoom's mask.

"Alright-."

--

"Good morning Mr Mit- Mxia- Mr spitlik- Mr Mixiaspitlik."

Mr Mxyzptlk sighs. "Close enough."

--

"So how come you're taking a taxi? Don't you have a clown car?" you question, turning in your seat to face the pale passenger in the back of your taxi.

"WayneTech promised me an electric car by this year, but I still haven't gotten it even though I've put a deposit down! Can you believe it?"

"How horrible!" you reply nervously. You turn to face the steering wheel again while debating whether you should open your door and make a run for it.

"I know, right?"

There's a very long, awkward pause before you speak up.

"So- the explosives in my trunk- are they-?"

"Don't ask about that," he interrupts, pressing a forefinger to his lips, "It'll ruin Batman's surprise!"

"Okay-."

----

It got to the point where your clients would ask for you specifically, so the company you worked for simply gave you a free phone and gave everyone the number. Soon enough, the resident superheroes and vigilantes caught wind of your work and decided to utilise your services themselves.

----

"Hey Y/N! How's business?"

"There's never a dull moment, Nightwing, I'll tell you that."

"Good to hear...good to hear." The black and blue vigilante pauses and scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. "Hey, could you let a man catch a ride to the docks?"

"Why can't you get there yourself?" you ask, leaning out the driver-side window.

"I- uh- I broke my grapple hook."

You gasp. "Ohhh shit. The Bat isn't going to take that well."

"Trust me, I know." Nightwing replies, groaning.

"Fine, but I'm charging you 15% extra because you didn't call in advance. I'm a busy person, you know."

"What?" he exclaims, "That's daylight robbery!"

"It's 3am, Batboy. Cough up or I'll make it 20."

--

"Hey Y/N!"

"What's with all the Speedsters needing taxis? Couldn't you just get there yourself?"

"A man needs his rest, right?" The Flash replies, shooting you a toothy grin.

"That doesn't even make any- y'know what? I shouldn't of asked."

--

"You too?" you begin, "What, did you break your grapple hook as well?"

"What?" Red Robin questions, "No. Red Hood and Robin are annoying me and you're the only one they like enough to leave alone."

"They like me🥹?"

"We all do. You're surprised?" he responds, raising a brow.

"That's so sweet, oh my goodness."

"Wait- who broke their grapple hook?" Tim asks, looking at you quizzically. At that, you slap your hand over your mouth and instead speak through your fingers.

"No comment."

--

"Run out of juice again, Lantern?"

"Okay- this time it wasn't my fault," Hal replies, slamming the door of your taxi shut.

"Keep telling yourself that buddy."

----

There have been many awkward occasions where your services have been double-booked, which has led to some, uh- peculiar interactions to say the least.

----

"Oh yes, of course! If you oxidise the Kryptonite and make a compound of it with my fear gas, it would probably work on a Kryptonian," Crane waffles.

"Wonderful!" Luthor replies, clapping his hands together. "How much?"

"I beg your pardon?" the psychologist asks.

"How much money do you want for you to synthesise such a concoction?"

"With all due respect, Mr Luthor," you pipe up, "If you continue this conversation while I'm here, I may be arrested."

"How come?"

"Guilt by association."

--

"But you're a Speedster, right? How come you're-?"

"Don't bother asking him. They never give you a straight answer."

Thawne grins, "At least someone here has half a brain."

"How dare you!" the Riddler gasps, "I'll have you know I'm the smartest rogue in all of Gotham. You tell 'em, Y/N!"

"..."

"They seem to disagree," the speedster chuckles.

"What? Oh c'mon! Who do you think is the smartest rogue in Gotham then?"

"Poison Ivy," you reply immediately.

--

"Y'know, I should probably throw you in Arkham."

"Now where's the fun in that, Hood? Besides, I ain't doin' nothin' wrong!"

"You're covered in blood that isn't your own and holding a decapitated head."

"He was in the car when I got here!"

You whip around in your seat. "Harley, if you get blood on my seats I swear to God-."

----

And this is all fine and dandy until you catch the attention of three of arguably the most famous superheroes known to mankind, and they're not here to ask you to take them on holiday.

"You are under arrest under suspicion of harbouring dangerous criminals," Wonder Woman begins, towering above your tiny taxi. "Anything you say or do will be held against you in a court of-"

"Harbouring criminals?" you interrupt, "Since when?"

"I strongly suggest you don't play dumb now. This is a serious offense and unless you want to be thrown in Blackgate you need to listen to us." Batman states, staring menacingly at you with his arms crossed.

"I am listening to you, Batman, you aren't listening to me."

Superman attempts to mediate the situation. "Well then, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"You are aware that members of your Justice League have been using my services, right?" you question, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You heard me--" you continue before turning to the Caped Cruisader, "--And your own children have also been enlisting my help from time to time."

"Preposterous," Batman scoffs.

"Is it? Nightwing has me on speed dial if you want me to prove it to you."

"..."

"That's what I thought."

"This doesn't excuse the fact that you are harbouring criminals," Diana states.

"Criminals? What criminals?"

Superman sighs. "The records at your agency show that you have been helping people such as Poison Ivy, Lex Luthor, Scarecrow, Reverse Flash, and other criminals."

You wave your hand at the trio dismissively. " The only name I recognise from that list is Lex Luthor, and he has not been trialed for any crimes that I know of."

"He has been charged for multiple crimes in the past. Do you not realise this?" Clark replies, his eye beginning to twitch slightly.

"Supes, I am a taxi driver working at minimum wage. Do you really think I can afford a TV?"

"You have a phone, do you not?" Batman asks.

"Yeah, with a whole 16 megabytes of storage on it," you respond, voice dripping with sarcasm.

And with that, they leave you be. Superman and Wonderwoman shoot into the air and Batman follows suit with his grapple hook. You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding and lean into the driver's seat. You stay there for a few minutes, contemplating what to have for breakfast tomorrow before your phone starts ringing once again. You smile as you read the name on your screen before quickly swiping the screen to answer it.

"Darkseid! How can I help?"

Masterlist

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

War Correspondent AU Pt 2

After they're returned to their cell, Kara glares at Kieran-- Lena-- with a scowl. She doesn't like being made a fool.

"I thought we were past secrets."

Lena settles back against the wall, closing her eyes in the hopes it would ease the pounding of her head and the throbbing in her face.

"Not a secret," Lena mumbles.

"No?" Kara drawls.

"Just hate their guts."

Kara huffs, but accepts her answer. She too slumps against the wall behind her, but wishes that she could help crack Lena's nose back into place, which now sports a sharp bend in the cartilage.

"Now what?" Kara asks.

Without opening her eyes, Lena smirks, visibly pleased with herself.

"Now we wait."

With Lena's identity revealed, the press goes crazy, but in their little prison their captors decide to try and ransom Kara and Lena. Before any progress is made, however, a well paid private black ops team strikes the compound, breaking Lena and Kara out and killing any aggressors in their path.

They both receive the best medical care available, before being flown home. The press is there to receive them, however Lena is more concerned with the fact that her adoptive family is also present.

Putting on a show, she returns the embraces of her father and adoptive mother. Lionel squeezes ominously tight, promising that Lena *will* return with them to the manor, and that there *will* be words before the day is out. Lillian's hug is loose and perfunctory, but covered by shooing both women into the town car waiting for them on the tarmac.

Kara is somewhat welcomed as a guest, but she correctly suspects that they simply want to keep her under control until they decide what the rescue narrative will be-- and what was to be done with Lena, now that she's been found.

Kara waits in the corridor as the Luthors duke it out, Lena included. There's anger and betrayal at the way Lena left, there's anger and betrayal at the way Lena was raised, there's anger and betrayal at the way Lena joined the press. ("The press Lena, really??") As though it was done to spite her family, who held great disdain for the field. Which it was, at first.

It takes hours, and no consensus is reached by the time they finish for the night, but Kara is pleased that Lena remains adamant that she will NOT be forsaking her career to preserve the family name. ("It's one thing for Kieran Walsh to be a member of the press, but you've now claimed your heritage, and I will not have you ruining this family by remaining in such a lascivious position!")

Nevermind that Lena is a Pulitzer winner, or that she's helped Kara break stories on more human rights violations and war crimes than any other team in the industry. All the family can see is the press that waits outside their front door, slavering for a crumb to publish in the tabloids and other trash publications.

When Lionel and Lillian have stormed out of the study, Kara enters to join Lena where she's slumped on the couch, exhausted. She's in a cast and a sling up to her shoulder, and Kara can tell it's bothering her.

She tosses Lena the bottle of prescription painkillers the medics had provided them during treatment. Lena swallows two dry, wincing as they scrape her throat on the way down.

"You're right," Kara tells her, breaking the silence.

Lena looks at her, one eyebrow arching in question.

"Their guts are very hateable."

This earns her a bark of laughter, then a groan as Lena braces her bruised ribs. "Ow. Don't make me laugh."

"Not my fault you think I'm a comedy genius."

Lena just huffs, neither confirming nor denying. They sit in comfortable silence for several minutes, before Kara continues.

"Thank you," she says solemnly.

"For what? Bringing you into this shitstorm? Not something to thank me for."

"This shitstorm got us out of there. I kinda like keeping my head where it is, so-- yeah. Thanks."

In the gratitude is the acknowledgment of what it had cost Lena to play the Luthor card-- how it had reconnected her to a family she never wanted to be a part of again, and has now been sucked back into. A family she might not be able to escape a second time.

"You're welcome."

[fireandfolds]

about me

tldr: yujung 유정, he/they, 20s

butch, aroace, lesbian, asian, korean united statesian, woman, menswear enthusiast

-> yes, i am a woman and a lesbian. yes, my pronouns are not she/her. these facts can coexist.

-> i prefer he/him but feel free to sprinkle in a they/them occasionally. surprise me. ALSO v important please use the pronouns separately! altho i do use more than one set of pronouns i do not like to use them interchangeably :)

i go in depth here about this

do not interact

-> if you ship elsanna, kara/monel, amalia true/horatio cousens, penance/augustus; if you like incest, age-gap relationships, genderswaps

-> mcyt stans, if you claim to have undiagnosed DID/alters/systems, if you claim other fake disorder stuff

-> cop/military apologists, republicans, conservatives, right wing ppl, fascists, bigots, christians, homophobes, ableists, etc can go away

-> fetish/nsfw/bdsm/kink pages. nothing against yall but i explain below

-> see my carrd for more DNI criteria

aroace lesbian + sex-repulsed

-> sexual content will not be found on this page, i don’t write smut and even people kissing makes me uncomfortable and grossed out.

-> my writing tends to focus on the more platonic or “innocent” romantic stuff. my fics could be seen as friendship or some other kind of relationship. i ship people in queerplatonic relationships usually.

-> my full sexual & romantic identity would be aromantic asexual lesbian. i keep things platonic mostly, but no matter the type of relationship i will always prefer women.

leftist

-> no i am not a liberal or democrat, and obviously not a conservative or republican or any other right-wing political group. yes, liberals/dems are still right-wing. fuck all of you.

-> fuck cops, the military, capitalism, private insurance/healthcare, political parties, people who want the status quo, etc.

-> haven’t read any theory but I’d align myself most closely with marxism or marxism-leninism, based on the research and reading i’ve done. commie/leftist yeet yeet

-> anti-zionist. not jewish by any means. zionism is colonialism.

-> atheist, with a background in the presbyterian branch of christianity. fuck organised religion, they’re all cults, but especially christianity.

fandoms/interests

-> you can find me on ao3, i write silly little fanfics involving my favorite sapphics. send requests if you want to see something specifically.

-> the nevers, supergirl, the haunting of bly manor, motherland: fort salem, hacks, mare of easttown, dickinson, rizzoli & isles, anything involving wlw or pretty women really. yell at me if you’d like to become mutuals and bond over a favourite show <3

-> my favourite characters: penny haywood, emily kaldwin, junlei tennyson, penance adair, lena luthor, maura isles, amalia true, jamie taylor, deborah vance, helen fahey, sue gilbert, tally craven, cristina yang

-> wouldn’t necessarily say i’m in fandoms for this, but i love sketch/improv/stand up comedy. i DO NOT like (most) sitcoms—the only exceptions being the golden girls and designing women. big fan of saturday night live, a black lady sketch show, whose line is it anyway?, etc.

-> my favourite comedians: hannah gadsby, river butcher, john mulaney, tig notaro, robin williams, taylor tomlinson, hannah einbinder, gilda radner

-> i love katie mcgrath, sandra oh, sasha alexander, laura donnelly, ann skelly, lily tomlin, jean smart, amelia eve, and gilda radner. i hate melissa benoist, jodie comer, angie harmon, chris wood, mehcad brooks, jeremy jordan, and david harewood

-> favourite musicians: hippo campus, lupin, brotherkenzie, baby boys, whistler isaiah, hozier, half•alive, early eyes, grandson, sylvan esso, peach pit, the greeting committee, still woozy, i don't know how but they found me, glass animals, ashe, phoebe bridgers, japanese breakfast, sub urban

-> favourite games: the outer worlds, dishonored ii, cyberpunk 2077, harry potter hogwarts mystery

other

-> i’m not a man-hater or a misandrist. i just…do not care about men. they aren’t interesting to me. and i’m not attracted to them. i will only focus on women, because i literally have zero things to say about men. if you’re not down, you don’t need to follow.

-> i love talking about tv shows! one thing about me is if i start a show, no matter what happens i have to finish it. if you want to stalk me and see what shows i am watching and have watched, i’m fireandfolds on tvtime. i don’t really do films.

-> my carrd (you’ll find my social media and ways to support/follow my creative work)

-> join my sapphic-centered discord if you want

shoot me an ask or dm or whatever if you want to connect. use the tags if you want to navigate through stuff. sweg!

[light-miracles]

Fic Writer Review

Thanks @wolfsong02 for tagging me, I rarely do one of these but I might as well try.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

380224

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Counting just AO3, and counting DC Comics as a whole fandom, and AtLA and LoK as the same universe: 2 lol

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

1) The Lost Princess-Thirty years ago, Diana was happy. She was Wonder Woman, she was married to the woman she loved and she had a baby girl. But when her baby daughter (apparently) dies, Diana went back to Themyscira and never returned to the outside world. At the same time, Lena is having strange dreams, and she does not know if they are only dreams or they can be something else. She, Kara, and their friends will have to fight a truth that threatens to change everything they knew until then.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514457

2) The Women of the Thousand Faces- Lena discovered a truth that destroyed her life and everything went to hell. She and Kara will have to find a way to defeat Veritas, a multidimensional organization that has kidnapped their friends and has only one mission: to kill Lena Luthor to avoid an apocalyptic catastrophe called Crisis on Infinite Earths/Diana's world has been completely destroyed thanks to traps of liars and traitors. Trapped at the End of the World with Alex and Maggie, Diana will have to find a way to get out of the Underworld to find her family.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9624287

3. Finding Jason- Twelve years ago, Batman beat Red Hood in front of all the world, almost killing his own son. As a result the family broke down irremediably and Bruce Wayne was left alone with his darkness. No one has seen or heard of Jason in twelve years. Not even the world's best detective has been able to find him. But one day, Bruce discovers a new clue that could reveal the location of his second son. The clue is eleven years old, has red hair, and Jason's eyes. Her name is Carrie Kelley and according to the innumerable blood tests, she is his granddaughter.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/16746352)

4. Inside the Iceberg- Kara's not alone inside the iceberg. And every visit has something to tell her.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/21557041)

5. Something Strange in the Woods- Aang feels there is something wrong with the spirits. With Toph's help, he will have to fix whatever is happening in the woods. But neither of them expected Toph could see in the Spirits World.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351115)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Yes when they ask for more information about something or when they're so cute they make me smile. And if I don't respond usually is because I don't know what to say 🤣.

6. A fic you've written with the angstiest ending.

The Lost Princess, but just because it wasn't the ending and it continued in The Women of the Thousand Faces.

7. Do you write cross overs?

Yes when they're set in the same universe/multiverse. Also yes to totally random cameos of different characters without more reason than amuse me and save me from the nuisance of creating an OC. Once Batman was investigating a kidnapping in Johnny Bravo's apartment, another time Alex Danvers and Korra played Quidditch in Themyscira.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

Some times but I barely remember why.

9. Do you write smut?

It can be added as a little scene on a bigger fic but never on its own.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not really.

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I have to literally translate my own fics from Spanish to English so no I do enough translation lmao.

12. Have you ever co written a fic?

In fanfiction.net, a Divergent (Trinine) fic with a friend.

13. All time Fav ship.

Ooff... Like, I can't pick just one. Toph/Aang probably. Kara/Happiness. I have a lot of ships.

14. WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I promised myself I'd finish all my monsters and I will even if I need 84 years.

15. Writing strengths?

When I'm inspired, drama. Comedy. Suspense.

16. Writing weakness?

Doing 10000 words chapters. I can't stop when I think it's not enough and that takes a lot of time.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Idk, good if you're not butchering the language. If not directly in English it's faster and easier.

18. First Fandom you wrote for?

In fanfiction.net Teen Titans

In ao3 Supergirl

19. What's your fav fic you've written so far?

It's The Lost Princess. Years passed and I had a Lena crisis but it's the one fic that always brings me confort, not matters how I feel about Canon!Lena.

Tagging @mycomfortblanket @takaraphoenix @cyclone-rachel @boomerangguy

[aion-rsa]

Bo Burnham: Inside Songs Ranked from Worst to Best

https://ift.tt/2JMbiJl

The musical of the summer was supposed to be a life-affirming celebration of one of New York’s most vibrant neighborhoods, full of color, romance, and big group dance numbers. Instead for many viewers, the musical of the moment was filmed and performed by one man, alone in isolation from the comfort (or discomfort, really) of his own home, with songs centered on techno paranoia, mental health, and the fear of aging. Maybe after a year stuck in their homes, audiences could relate to the existential dread and general anxiety on display in Bo Burnham: Inside more than a conventional movie musical.

Billed as a stand-up special, Burnham’s latest musical comedy endeavor finds the former wunderkind holed up and feeling more uncomfortable than ever. Writing, editing, directing, and performing from a claustrophobic studio, Burnham’s stand-up special skews more toward being a straight-up musical, and not because the special is light on jokes and missing an audience. Rather this has all the hallmarks of a musical narrative and plays closer to experimental cinema than sketch comedy.

Burnham expresses his characters’ inner-thoughts, fears, and desires via song throughout a contained narrative, in this case the narrative being one man trying to occupy himself during a pandemic. It has ballads, charm songs, comedy numbers, “I Am” and “I Want” songs, and a big reprise. By capturing his personal pandemic experience and putting the whole affair to song, Burnham has created one of the most compelling (and catchy!) accounts of life during 2020.

To celebrate the musical that we all needed after a year in our homes, we’ve decided to rank every song from Bo Burnham: Inside. You can stream along via the Inside (The Songs) album on the streaming platform of your choice.

20. I Don’t Wanna Know

Merely an interlude, “I Don’t Wanna Know” doesn’t quite work outside of watching the special itself. However, it is a clever way to address the fact that modern audiences do not have the attention span to sit through a film at home without checking their phone or complaining about a runtime.

19. Bezos II

While certainly meant to poke fun at the real-life Lex Luthor, it’s not that fun to listen to Bezos’ name repeated. Stil, Burnham does elicit a few laughs with his over-the-top mock congratulations. “You did it!”

18. Any Day Now

A Sesame Street-like mantra that plays over the credits, “Any Day Now” suggests this could all end either hopefully soon or on a depressingly vague far-off date that will never come. We’d like to think it’s the former, but it’s safe to assume what Bo thinks.

17. All Time Low

While this number gets docked points for its short runtime, it absolutely packs a punch with its four-line, single verse. After Bo admits that his mental health is rapidly deteriorating, he describes what it’s like to have a panic attack set to a chipper ‘80s dance backbeat. Unfortunately, we don’t get to ride the wave long enough, and judging lyrics, that’s probably a good thing for Bo.

16. Content

This strong opening number musically sets the vibe for Inside, letting us know that we’re in for some synth-heavy throwback beats that would be best listened to underneath a disco ball.  Also incorporating silly backing vocals, a hallmark of many of Inside’s best tracks, Burnham declares he’s back with some sweet, sweet content. “Daddy made you your favorite,” he sings, and he ain’t wrong. 

15. Bezos I

Unlike the reprise in “Bezos II,” “Bezos I” gets by off its increasingly deranged energy, with Burnham roasting fellow tech billionaires and working himself up into a manic frenzy by song’s end. Musically, it sounds like the soundtrack to an intense boss battle on a Sega Genesis game before ending with a sick little synth solo and Burnham hilarious squawking. It’s arguably the only acceptable thing that Bezos has ever been associated with.

14. Unpaid Intern

While “Unpaid Intern” is one of Inside’s shortest tracks, it absolutely makes the most of its time. The jazzy tune scorches the exploitative nature of unpaid internships before Burnham breaks out into a laugh-out-loud worthy scat routine. It unfortunately ends too soon.

13. Shit

Inside’s funkiest jam sounds like Burnham wrote the lyrics for a new Janelle Moane album cut. Bo show’s off his vocal dexterity and plumbs the depths of his depression in a surprisingly danceable fashion. Throwing in a little faux crowd interaction helps bring home the fact that we have all felt like this at one point or another during the pandemic.

12. Sexting

This slow-jam details the complications of sexting, throwing out hilariously too-true punchlines like “the flash makes my dick look frightened.” “Sexting” feels like one of a few songs that could most easily appear on previous Burnham specials. Proving that Inside’s musical textures do not come exclusively from ’80s synth pop, the outro of the song expertly mirrors modern pop trends by throwing in some trap-influenced “yahs” at the end of Bo’s lines.

Read more

Movies

Best Movie Musicals of the 21st Century

By David Crow

TV

What Would a Queen’s Gambit Musical Look Like?

By Alec Bojalad

11. How the World Works

Influenced by comedian Hans Teeuwen and children’s entertainment in general, “How the World Works” finds Burnham going back to the well by playing the ignorant, smarmy white guy who is oblivious of the real issues plaguing nonwhite Americans. What’s even better though is Socko calling Burnham out on forcing others to educate him for his own self-actualization instead of doing the work on his own for the betterment of others.

Socko pointedly asks “Why do you rich f—— white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?” Not to keep things too heavy, the song ends with an absurdist bit where Burnham returns Socko to the nether place that he goes when he’s not attached to Burnham’s hand. Scathing and bizarre, it’s a great piece of social commentary. 

10. FaceTime With My Mom

While most of the music of Inside feels directly transported from the 1980s, “FaceTime With My Mom” seems only inspired by the past decade’s musical trends, updating the sounds in much of the same way that the Weeknd and Dua Lipa have. This is Bo Burnham as a hitmaker, and his attempt is convincing. “FaceTime With My Mom” earns easy laughs by getting to the seemingly specific, yet universal things that all our moms do over video chat. 

9. Goodbye

Every good musical needs a good closing track, and Burnham nails it with “Goodbye,” pulling off a reprise that weaves in many of the special’s signature musical moments and touches on the special’s core themes. A forlorn piano ballad before it soars through Inside’s best motifs, “Goodbye” caps a triumphant musical achievement, coming back to “Look Who’s Inside Again” just to punch you in the gut one last time. 

8. Problematic

Addressing his past work and some aspects that have not aged well, while also skewering celebrity apologies, “Problematic” is self-aware critique by way of an ‘80s workout bop. From the specific Aladdin confession to the overall apology for being “vaguely shitty,” Bo has never made accountability sound so good.

7. That Funny Feeling

This is Bo Burnham’s version of Father John Misty’s “Holy Shit,” a laundry list of all the stupid things that are signaling the fall of culture and civilization as we know it. If Misty hadn’t gotten there first, we may have had this one ranked higher. Still, Burnham manages to come up with a sticky chorus that you’ll be humming the next time something makes you feel like you’re living in the uncanny valley.

6. White Woman’s Instagram

Perhaps the special’s most playful moment, “White Woman’s Instagram” uses the musical cues of an inspiring empowerment anthem to poke fun at the predictably, perfectly curated feed of a “girl boss” Instagram. The song is greatly enhanced by the accompanying visuals, which find Bo recreating the meticulously staged and glamorous portraits that women pass off as their everyday lives.

However, Bo always likes to sneak in some sentimentality, and imagines a genuinely heartfelt post to his white woman character’s deceased mother. Don’t worry, the emotional moment doesn’t overstay its welcome, and we’re soon back to laughing at horribly derivative political street art.

5. All Eyes on Me

The droning synth and pitch-down vocals make “All Eyes On Me” oddly hypnotic and beautiful. The song seems to be addressing Bo’s depression along with his need for validation and attention, a juxtaposition that many performers deal with. It becomes clear that Burnham isn’t addressing an invisible audience, but himself, trying to will himself up and out of his dreary mental state.

4.  Look Who’s Inside Again

A classic “I Am” musical song, “Look Who’s Inside Again” just may be Inside’s most emotionally resonant track that seems to hit closest to who Bo Burnham was and who he is today. This is the song that I will most likely regret the most for ranking so low.

“Well, well, look who’s inside again. Went out to look for a reason to hide again,” perfectly describes the cycle of depression and will, for me, be the special’s most lasting moment. The downbeat ending “come out with your hands up, we’ve got you surrounded” is heartbreaking enough to send a shudder down your spine.

3. Comedy

The special’s real first number is absolutely packed with hooks, from the “Call me and I’ll tell you a joke” bridge to the “Should I be joking at a time like this?” change-up. This is Bo really flexing how far he’s come as a musician, expertly utilizing autotune and a key change (us “stupid motherf***ers” can’t resist them).

“Comedy” also finds Bo comfortably in the lane that we’re most used to seeing him in, playing the egomaniacal white messiah with a wink. “Comedy” is the tone-setter and it’s so good that it lets you know that you’re in good hands for the next hour plus.

2. 30

Either I’m ranking this song too highly due to its personally relatable nature or the fact that I haven’t been able to get “All my stupid friends are having stupid children” out of my head, but I really don’t care. “30” is Inside’s biggest earworm and addresses the existential terror that comes with no longer getting pats on the back for being a young wunderkind.

“30” also examines generational differences, showing how 30 year-old people are more infantile than ever. However, at the end of the day it all comes back to those shimmering keys and that irresistible refrain. Apologies to my friends with children.

1. Welcome to the Internet

No matter how deep and emotionally rich some of Inside’s other tracks may be, “Welcome to the Internet” is the one that will live on the longest. If this were a traditional musical, this would the antagonists’ showstopper; a vaudevillian romp through the alluring chaos that is the internet. Speeding up and slowing down the pace to mirror the manic, addictive nature of surfing the net, Burnham pitches the negative aspects of online culture as they are: a feature, not a bug. Promising “a little bit of everything all of the time,” “Welcome to the Internet” is almost as enticing as the dark tool itself.

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The post Bo Burnham: Inside Songs Ranked from Worst to Best appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3d0eX1x

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

SO HEY, EPISODE 5x13

Crops? Watered. Skin? Clear. Fifth Dimensional Imp? Redeemed, and here to help our Kryptonian Sunshine Child Learn Some Much-Needed Lessons on this Very Special Episode.

SPOILERS!

NEW AND IMPROVED MXY! He is excellent. Loved every second he was on screen, he had such a great dynamic with Kara, and the ENTIRE OPENING SCENE WITH ALL THREE OF THEM WAS HILARIOUS.

Give the Danvers Sisters More Comedy Scenes, Please

Man when he just walks across the furniture.

SO GOOD

And then J’onn w/ his casual ‘Hey girls.’ SPAAAAACE DAAAAAD

MAGIC PAINTBALL!

(Man Supergirl’s Attic podcast just nailed that, huh?)

Loved all of the different viewing methods--Projector! MyxFlyx! Betamyx! Also the popcorn bucket gag, and how Kara’s just like: ‘...Yeah alright.’

And then we get to the first of the alternate timelines and OKAY, OKAY I see now why they need the bad wigs...they gotta match pre-existing footage, FINE. 

But UUUUuuuUUUUgh bad wigs. BAD.

You know what else is bad? Lena blabbing Kara’s secret to Sam!

Because KARA DIES. 

And you know...we’ve seen Kara in some pretty gruesome fights, we’ve seen her in a coma, we’ve seen her die before but there is something final and painful and AWFUL about her flat-lining in the DEO. 

AND THEN ALEX AT THE GRAVE???!??!?!?!

*openly weeps* *just like Mxy and Kara*

Look I don’t wanna keep harping on the wigs but good grief, Kara’s ‘Supergirl’ hair looks like it walked right of the set of a 70s sitcom.

Right, okay, so the chat with Lena! I sincerely doubt that Lena would’ve let anyone help her with Sam. Just sayin’. 

‘I had to go through that alone!’ Yeah, Lena, that’s kinda your MO, and you do it even when people level with you.

(As much as I enjoyed the cathartic release provided by this episode, I still found some of the dialogue in regards to Lena a bit...trying.)

(Like this part, and Sam insisting that the Kryptonite manufacturing was totally fine! No big deal!)

(Reader, it was not fine, and was, in fact, a Big Deal.)

“Wait you’re skipping a lot!”

“So much exposition.”

Awww, Beard-of-Wisdom Mon-El is back!

And BOY OH BOY, HE’S GOT SOME WORDS O’ WISDOM INDEED.

“You know Lena and I have a lot in common.” MMMMM-HMMMMMM.

In that both your story line and Lena’s were/are extremely tedious

But no, for real, it’s a really lovely exchange.

“You deserve the same compassion that you show others.”

THREE CHEERS FOR OL’ WISE-BEARD!

Also, happy to report that the wig works best in the rain!

And speaking of Raineign... (har, har)

More Death! A recurring theme, with these alternate realities!

So, basically:

Back at the loft! Loved the Friends-esque VHS titles

The One Where Lena Moves to National City

The One Where Lillian Admits She Loves Lena

The One Where Supergirl and Lena Fight the Nanobot Lady

And then we get the ‘First Meeting’* reveal and may I just say, the score? Lovely. 

*Not really the first meeting but ‘Third-ish meeting that was retroactively added in “Confidence Women”’ is a bit of a mouthful, so. 

“I have to recall all those alien detective devices because they clearly don’t work!” Or...you could recall them...because they’re bad.

Just a thought.

Love 20s news announcer Mxy and the newspaper spins.

I also love that this particular timeline is a direct response to...a specific corner of the SG fandom, and their ongoing complaints. ‘Everything would be better if Kara told Lena right away!’ Well, no, actually! It puts a huge target on Lena, just like Kara feared. ‘Why does Kara even need a secret identity? Almost everyone knows, it’s barely a secret, why bother!?’ because IT PUTS A HUGE TARGET ON KARA’S LOVED ONES, JUST LIKE KARA FEARED.

Alsoooooo the one out there going hard for and stanning the Luthor/Super partnership...is a fanatical cult leader.

Which I’m sure means nothing and isn’t a thinly-veiled commentary, or anything. 

...Anyways!

EVERYONE DIES AGAIN.

And THEN we go to the darkest timeline.

Love Kara’s, “You know what? No thanks. Nope. Don’t need to see it.”

And then Dreamer! With a face scar! And as we all know, face scars are always code for Dystopian AUs. 

KELLY WITH THE SHIIIIIEEEEELD AGAIN!

And it looks like the good guys are winning their respective fights! But then METALLO!LENA JUST STRAIGHT UP TRIES TO MURDER KARA. 

To quote Kara: No thanks. Nope.

But Mxy gets Hat’s hat and they’re safely back in Kara’s loft AND THEN

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEEEEEENNNNNNNN:

After 13 long, (loooooong) episodes, we finally get some gol-dang character development.

♫Aaaaaat laaaaaaaaaast, the skiiiiiies above are bluuu-uuueee ♫

And not just any character development! KARA CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

THE CONTENT I CRAVE.

It was so good. EVERYTHING. SPELLED OUT. CLEARLY.

Whoop, wait, before we dig into that: Redemption for Mxy.

Who is now a FRIEND and not a creepy stalker! Which, lemme tell ya, really put a damper on the otherwise fun energy that a fifth dimension imp from the Silver Age should bring. 

I am very Pleased with these developments, is what I’m saying.

Okay, back to the good stuff. I’m just gonna quote it in full:

I recognize I made a mistake in hiding my identity from you for so long, but the past is the past, and I can’t change it. Forgive me or not, that’s your choice. Just like it’s your choice to work with Lex. I’m done blaming myself for your bad decisions...from now on, you’re accountable for your own actions. If you decide to forgive me, I will be there for you. But if you continue to work with Lex, if you go through with whatever it is the two of you are planning, I will do everything in my power to stop you, just like I would any other villain.

Amazing. Spectacular. Brilliant.

And to top it all off? SPACEFAM CONTENT. AND JUNK FOOD! A WINNING COMBO.

Kara’s happy face is so cuuuuuuute and the french fry toast!

And EL MAYARAH! STRONGER TOGETHER!

It’s just so beautiful.

So in conclusion! I think, given the constraints set up by the season long arc, this was a really nice way to tie it into that story but also honor a lot of what came before. I know a lot of folks wish it had focused more on the Spacefam, and that we had more Season One call backs, and that’s fair, but personally, I didn’t mind it. (Because we got a beautiful Superfriends reunion in 5x11/5x12 and Eliza is coming back at SOME point in the future so I am Content. XD)

...Also let us all be grateful that it didn’t fall within one of the crossovers, like Arrow’s 100th episode. Oof. 

[comeoncomeout41]

Bringing this back from the dead after I started writing it 3 years ago and let it sit in my drafts. It originally had Maggie instead of Kelly as Alex’s girlfriend, but in this house it’s 2020, and we stan Dansen, so I changed that. Just thought it was pretty wild that I predicted Supergirl would use contact lens technology back during season 3. Also added somewhat of an ending to this so I could publish it. 

This night was no different than any other night. Lena curled up against Kara's side, crying silent tears at the romantic comedy Kara had insisted on watching. The movie had long since ended by now, the credits still rolling. Yet they remained still neither wanting to break from their bubble.

There's only so long two people can straddle that line between friendship and something more. And this was the moment that had become commonplace for them in the last five months, three weeks, and four days. Not that Lena was counting per say, but it's hard to forget the moment your best friend kisses your cheek goodnight out of the blue like that's something best friends do, something she and Kara have always done.

Kara's fingers begin their journey underneath Lena's t-shirt tracing her hips. As if by muscle memory, a habitual behavior Lena has developed over these many evenings, she rests her hand on her best friend's abs. Her fingertips run across the toned muscles, feeling what she's never seen. There's a boundary they haven't crossed. Some exploration occurs but always within their safe zones, always within the borders of chaste friendship.

Kara hasn't kissed her again since that one night or anywhere else that she wants to be kissed. Not her lips, her neck, and well Lena hasn't reciprocated herself, so why should she expect Kara to do so? They haven't spoken of it, and Lena's not willing to ask what it meant or what all of this confined touching means. Because to accept that it's happening means to accept that it could stop happening, and Lena's not sure she could handle losing it, losing Kara.

Except maybe tonight is different because, "Did you just flex?" Lena quips, and she's smirking at Kara, but internally she can't believe she actually asked that out loud.

Kara dips her head back with a full laugh, "Absolutely not."

"Hmm sure." Because now she's started, and she can't control the easy flirting, "I think you were showing off."

Kara licks her bottom lip. She's staring at Lena's lips when her hand wraps around Lena's belly, slightly below the usual imaginary boundary line. The touch is less lingering, more certain, and the moment feels different than before. Tonight could be different.

In a soft whisper, "Maybe I was showing off a little," Kara answers back nervously.

The knock at Kara's door quickly breaks them apart. Lena sits up to adjust herself as if they were actually in the middle of something, something that may have or may not have started in the first place. Kara stands with a huff and walks to the door as the sound of jingling keys reverberates the awkwardly quiet room.

Deus ex machina big sister and her girlfriend waltz through the front door shattering any chance of ending this hopeless cycle of will they, won't they? Lena and Kara have been playing together. Still, Lena is anything but poised. Years of living with Lillian Luthor stuck with her more than she would care to admit. She manages to exchange pleasantries for thirty minutes before finding her exit.

Alex and Kelly are playfully arguing, and Kara hasn't taken her eyes off of her for the past half hour. With the conversation shifting away from Lena's lessened workload at LCorp and her new initiatives at CatCo, Lena chances a side glance in Kara's direction before checking her watch. Lena sighs in resignation to the fact that her and Kara are still at this standstill with no hope of Alex or Kelly leaving anytime soon, with a freshly opened bottle of wine in front of them.

"I hate to dip out so soon, but I have a project to check in on at LCorp early tomorrow morning. It was great to see you Alex, Kelly."

Lena nods at both women as a collective unrest of no's come at her from all angles (none as insistent as Kara's, but maybe that's Lena putting her hopes a little higher than she can confess aloud.)

"It's been fun, but I really have to get home."

Alex raises her glass, "Next time we'll try to come earlier then."

Kara raises her head to the ceiling as if asking her Kryptonian God to have mercy on her for once in her life.

Kara practically snarls in her sister's direction, "Really Lena, Alex and Kelly were just leaving."

Lena laughs awkwardly, dips her head to hide her blush, then slips her hand into Kara's with a quick squeeze before letting go, "Any other day, but I have that meeting with Snapper and James at 9, and this project first thing tomorrow."

Kara bites her lip, "I'll walk you out."

"No." Lena rasps then clears her throat, "I mean, I'm good."

Kara hugs her in goodbye at the door with a promised lunch date the next day. No cheek kiss again, not that she's surprised. She's already on pins and needles as is. The moment the elevator doors close in front of her, she reaches into her purse to grab her inhaler and wonders how when the moment comes, if the moment ever comes that she'll be able to handle Kara's lips on her again. On her cheek, on her lips, on that spot on her ribs Kara's fingers always seem to find and linger on that makes her dizzy, makes her want that something more.

Lena doesn't know why Kara seems to be holding back. They've always been able to communicate with one another. If Kara wants her, then why doesn't she say anything?

But she supposes she's not saying anything either. And then there's the chance that Lena is simply reading into something that she wants to be there, that's not really there at all. If she could see into the mind of the Girl of Steel for one day, then maybe she'd know for sure. If only, then she could end this tip toeing around and just kiss Kara senseless the way she's wanted to since the day both Supers walked into her office.

—

"Miss Luthor, the prototype passed all of our human trials. We need your approval to bring it to market."

Lena admired the small contact lens, transparent gold at her fingertips, truly, "And there were no problems with syncing the lenses to any of the devices in the trials?"

Lena had read the reports. She knew the product could stand more tests. As she was about to ask, Sam cleared her throat, "Miss Luthor, if I may."

Lena casts a sideways smile to her acting CEO, "Sam, you know you can call me Lena."

With a nod Sam answers, "Lena, there was an issue when tested with a certain brand of devices. It caused the lens to reach higher temperatures than expected. The images were also distorted slightly. We did discover that our human test subject was in fact, not human which may have altered the results.”

Lena was glad that her faith in Sam had not been misplaced, "Thank you. Did our team complete a human trial for those devices?"

Lena already knew the answer but, "Of course Miss," Sam corrects herself, "Lena, but I think it would be imperative to create a device that is market ready not only for humans."

"But for aliens as well, yes. I agree with you. Have we considered frames to market as well for a temporary solution until we can complete all of the necessary alien trials?"

"We'll get on that right away Miss Luthor," and with that her R&D team excused themselves in single file.

Lena lets out a long sigh, "Can't you see Supergirl wearing these? They'd really bring out the blue in her eyes."

Sam respectfully ignores Lena's comment and asks, "Do you want to try them?"

With the lenses LCorp had dubbed L-Vision in place, Lena stepped out of the elevator at CatCo to try out her new project for herself. Eve greeted her with a cup of steaming black coffee in hand, and L-Vision registered the face of the other woman.

Eve Tessmacher in pristine white text bubbled above blonde hair.

Lena made a point to remember all of her employees names, but she had to admit this feature would be a lifesaver at her next gala fundraiser. She could never keep up with every seemingly important white man's latest younger wife or mistress attending as just his secretary, nor did she truly care to do so.

She caught a glimpse of Kara from her desk in the bullpen. Her eyes widened when she saw the heart emoji next to Kara's name appear above her beaming smile.

And as if that wasn’t enough of an oddity, she heard Kara’s voice, in a whisper yet still clear, despite that they were across the room from one another, and Kara’s lips weren’t moving.

She looks good enough to eat.

Lena’s knees shook and her heartbeat was definitely loud enough for Kara’s super hearing to pick up. And then Kara started walking towards her, and she heard Kara’s voice again.

Come on Kara, act cool, keep smiling. Keep it together. She’s your best friend, you absolute creep. Stop looking at her boobs, stop it.

Ducking her head with an awkward wave, Lena darts to the conference room for her meeting with James, already digging through her purse to call Sam. She’ll deal with Kara after she makes sure these contact lenses go through another trial.

[oddcoupler222]

Hi can you recommend some of your favorite fanfics

Since you didn’t specify which fandom you want my favorite fics from, I’mgoing to give you ALL OF THEM

Sanvers: (Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer - Supergirl)

by InspectorBoxer -

The Lighthouse Technique - Kara grinned. “I already have a plan. A foolproof technique, in fact, to get Maggie Sawyer’s full attention.” pre 2x08/Sanvers getting together (complete - 4 chapters, 5k words)

also she has tons of short and sweet oneshots and all of them are entertaining and worth reading. And she co-writes:

I Can’t Believe We’re Here - “I don’t know how to tell you this, Detective, but I’d like to introduce you to Jamie. Your daughter.” A post 3x05 fix-it fic, in which Maggie has a surprise daughter and the characters and plot are all A+ (currently incomplete but READ IT ANYWAY. 12 chapters, 71k words)

The above fic is part of the you and i collide series, all comprised of very well-written and in character reunion fics, written by zennie.

More by Zennie -

Worth the Fight - After the kiss, Alex and Maggie struggle to get back to friendship and maybe more. Also, Maggie is targeted by assassins and Alex is protective (complete - 7 chapters, 28k words)

Headstrong - Maggie challenges Alex to a race. It doesn’t end like either of them planned. (incomplete technically, but leaves off in a good place. 6/7 chapters, 11k words)

Also has a ton of one shots/shorter stuff worth reading

by performativezippers -

Spin Doctor (Grown Ass Woman) - Maggie doesn’t really talk to other people while she’s at the spin studio – she’s not, as they say, there to make friends – but everyone tends to do friendly nods and say hi, especially in the locker room, and she does the same. So she’s gotten know most of the teachers and many of the other morning clients by sight. So she’s sure this is the first time she’s seen this new woman. She’d definitely have remembered someone like that. (complete, 9 chapters, 37k words)

Lexie (Five-Inch Heels) - “I’m Lexie,” she says, and it’s clearly a fake name but that doesn’t bother Maggie. She’ll only need to know a legal name if this girl ever gets booked and Maggie has to intervene. She hopes it never comes up.

“Nice to meet you, Lexie.”

Lexie just stares at her, and Maggie can’t tell if she’s smirking of if it’s a trick of the light.

“Sure it is,” she finally says, and oh, yes, she was smirking.

Maggie decides to forgo delicate, and asks her next question bluntly, her hands back in her pockets. “What brings you out tonight?”

“Astronomy.” Lexie deadpans. “Been a while since I’ve last stargazed; thought I’d commune with nature and all that shit.” (complete, 4 chapters, 10k words)

by ReaderExtraordinaire -

Science Fairs and Spring Breaks -

What if Alex and Maggie had a chance meeting at a high school science fair? How much of an impact can one long distance friendship really have? After all, who meets their soulmate at 17? (complete - 18 chapters, 90k words)

by cairophoenix -

Track Changes - Alex is an editor at a New York publishing house, and that means her life is going right. She has her apartment, and the gym, and Kara a subway stop away. So if her apartment’s always empty at the end of the day, that’s just how things are. She spends a lot of time at the office, anyway. She’s making it, and that’s something she can be satisfied with. And then a mysterious book arrives. (Complete - 1 chapter, 44k words)

by colourmeblue -

there’s a piece of me that i’ve been seaching for - The first time she sees Maggie Sawyer, she’s not that impressed. A fake relationship AU (complete - 4 chapters, 30k words)

every inch of me there is to trace - Maggie contemplates Chinese food, beer and Netflix as her evening plan. The proximity to her previous life requires a distraction that only alcohol can achieve. Her mind does flash to Alex, though. What she’s doing tonight. How easy it would be to just call her. Or even see her, if she still lives at the same apartment. However, she’s immediately turned away from that idea at the thought of someone else answering the phone or the door. (incomplete, recently updated. 4/10 chapters, 13k words)

by bltbackwards -

Red Fish Blue Fish - Alex Danvers is the head marine biologist and veterinarian at the National City Aquarium, where Maggie Sawyer is the new night guard. One chance encounter leads to two, which leads to meetings not at all by chance. OR The one where Gertrude is a dolphin, Maggie’s got a prosthetic leg, Alex is a brilliant nerd that keeps food in her lab coat, Kara is the literal ray of sunshine everyone adores, and Lena is a genius who loves marine animals. (complete - 10 chapters, 35k words)

by Roadie -

Ashes and Embers - Fairytale AU. Wherein Alex is sort-of-but-not-really-Cinderella, Maggie is sort-of-but-not-really-also-Cinderella-crossed-with-a-fairy-godmother, James Olsen is the nobility we all know him to be, and Gertrude is a horse sidekick. (complete - 5 chapters, 12k words)

by alittlelesspain -

no hiding place -  So far in the past week, Maggie has been kidnapped, stunned, shot at, and now she has gone and put a considerable amount of professional and personal trust in the woman who had been doing the kidnapping, stunning, and shooting. She should be terrified. Instead, Maggie feels the most alive that she’s felt in years.

Or, the one where Alex is supposedly a criminal, Supergirl is supposedly dead, Lex Luthor is actually President, and Detective Maggie Sawyer has to deal with it all. A canon-divergent Sanvers AU. Slowburn. (complete - 13 chapters, 150k words)

by Lurkz -

I Just Want To Change My Future - Maggie was just hoping to finally have a stable enough job that allowed her to continue helping aliens and maybe finally meet someone who would decide she was worth sticking with. She wasn’t really expecting her new job to involve suspicious acting scientists that happened to be related to her new boss’s girlfriend.

All Alex wanted to do was work in her lab, finish this pseudo-undercover duty at L-Corp, destroy Cadmus, and find her father. She didn’t have time for nosy ex-detective security chiefs. (incomplete/still being updated. 16/? chapters, 77k words)

by thrace -

but the fruit is sweet - Sometimes doing the right thing sucks // Or, Maggie can’t figure out why Supergirl is suddenly giving her the cold shoulder. Post 2x06. (complete - 1 chapter, 15k words)

by seaunicorn -

Cursed - Alex’s sixth year at Hogwarts is thrown for a loop when her father Jeremiah is killed that summer.  It seems the only thing that makes her feel normal anymore is her newfound friendship with longtime quidditch rival (and Hufflepuff’s new team captain) Maggie Sawyer (complete, 1 chapter, 26k words)

To Build A Home - Maggie’s apartment is on fire, so she shows up on Alex’s doorstep… and Alex could never say no to Maggie. (complete - 3 chapters, 15k words)

(and a handful of other good little oneshots)

by izzie456 -

pizza and pajamas - Alex’s finger froze in place and her eyes widened as, under “Special Delivery Instructions,” she read:“send your cutest delivery girl, please ;)”A beat of silence. Then:“Oh. My. God.”“Alex, please don’t–”“What the  hell,  Kara?”

An AU where Kara tries to get Alex to start dating again with an unusual plan, and Maggie is a pizza delivery girl (complete - 4 chapters, 35k words)

by adieu_sweetamaryllis -

communion - Four years — she’d made it four years without having Maggie Sawyer in a single class of hers despite them both going to the same school. If she hadn’t seen her once or twice across campus she would’ve thought the girl never actually ended up attending National City University, despite both of them getting acceptance letters a few weeks before — well, before everything went up in flames. (incomplete - 18/21 chapters, 126k words)

by DisplacedWarrior -

I would move mountains to make you smile - Alex was just looking for a way to handle her giant crush without talking about it, she had no idea creating an anonymous Instagram account for her cheesy sapphic poetry would cause this much of a stir.  It has half the school starry-eyed but what about the one girl it was intended for?  (complete 1 chapter, 10k words)

by swanmills -

let me be your goodnight - alex meets an annoying new agent in the batch of this year’s trainees. alternate meeting au  (complete, 1 chapter, 4k words)

handfuls of other short/sweet oneshots by this author

and because I’m a masochist who is branching out into being a sadist, I’m going to recommend a very much incomplete story that I doubt will ever be finished but I reread it often and bemoan that it’s incomplete because it was SO GOOD and I want to drag everyone else down memory lane with me

wildfire -  Alex has seen beautiful women before, her sister is one of them, but not one has ever taken her breath away so quickly it felt like she was being knocked over.  Maybe it was simply the shock of seeing another person here when the school had seemed so desolate.  Or maybe, maybe, it was because that was the most beautiful woman that Alex has ever seen.or the one where alex teaches chemistry, maggie teaches history, and they teach each other a little something about falling in love (so incomplete. 3/? chapters, 25k words)

by lordvoldyfarts, who also has several shorter oneshots that I adore

moving on!

General Danvers: (Alex Danvers/Astra In-Ze - Supergirl)

Sword of Damocles - Canon divergent from 1x13: When Hank shows up on the rooftop to stop Astra from activating Myriad, Astra manages to outmaneuver him, taking Alex hostage as a means of escape. Now, Alex finds herself a prisoner at the hostile Fort Rozz base, but as time goes by, she and Astra begin to form an unexpected bond, challenging each of their beliefs, and loyalties.(complete - 27 chapters, 134k words)

Occupational Hazard - A comedy of errors in which Astra seriously misinterprets things. Seriously. Misinterprets. Things. This is a Human AU, so she doesn’t even have the excuse of being an alien to justify her Serious Misinterpretation of Things. She’s just that socially awkward of an Environmental Sciences professor who is head over heels for the obliviously charming-as-all-hell medical school dropout Alex Danvers.Basically, everyone is confused, smut runs rampant, as do silly tropes, stupidly oblivious mutual pining, and eventually, Feelings. Also Non is a surprisingly effective wingman, even though he very honestly had no intention of being one. Seriously, everyone is just so confused. (technically incomplete but read it, that is an order. 7/? chapters, 42k words)

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This - In which Astra watches TV for the first time, falls asleep, and has a series of seven very bizarre dreams, each of which ends with her falling in love with one Alexandra Danvers. Which is just silly. Humans are ridiculous. Why would General Astra In-Ze ever fall for a human, even a human as brave, and clever, and kind, and strong, and impassioned, and protective, and brilliant, and beautiful and…damn it. (complete - 7 chapters, 36k words)

all by uisceB. Just read everything this person has authored. Just do it.

Anyway, I have a whole GD fic rec already done! It was done almost a year ago, though, so I would recommend checking out anonymississippi and alittlelesspain to see what they’ve done in the meantime!

Sansaery: (Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell - Game of Thrones)

I can provide you with my past fic rec for that here and also with a handful of more recent fics than that first one, here!

Faberry: (Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray - Glee)

Sooooo many fics! Enough for two previous rec lists here and here!

Bechloe: (Beca Mitchell/Chloe Beale - Pitch Perfect)

Here is a whole rec list :)

Jetra: (Jane Villanueva/Petra Solano - Jane the Virgin)

marry me a little by celaenos - Petra swallows, remembering the night in the stairwell. Thinking about how it was the first time Jane had felt real to her since the day they met, and how she didn’t want it to end, and how that was so, so dangerous. To want like that.(Or, Jane marries Petra to save her from Milos. And things start to get real complicated after that.) (complete - 18 chapters, 110k words)

Cartinelli: (Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli - Agent Carter)

the mothering of us by QuickYoke and ratherembarrassing - The Black and White Ball was a masquerade ball held on November 28, 1966 at the Plaza Hotel in New York City. Hosted by author Truman Capote, the ball was in honor of The Washington Post publisher, Katharine Graham. – Director Carter attends. (one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Complete - 3/3 chapters, 60k words)

Living Arrangements by netgirl_y2k - Angie almost says, I think Peggy and me are basically married, and I don’t think she’s noticed, just to see the look on Jarvis’s face. (Complete - 1 chapter, 3k words)

i broke my bones playing games with you by mooosicaldreamz - Captain America wakes up and causes quite the scene too, bursting into the middle of Times Square and turning circles around in wonder. The video plays over and over on the news, which Angie watches then, over and over, at the diner. There’s the gorgeous Peggy Carter, at the center of a storm of suits and Escalades, staring up at the big lights. She doesn’t look a day over 26, and honestly, Angie thinks she looks beautiful. Modern day AU where Peggy is Captain America. (complete - 2 chapters, 22k words)

Tony and the Gal Pals by comicbooklovergreen - “Hey Peg, you here? You’re never here early. Should I be worried?”Tony froze, looking to Peggy for direction. Only then did she think that perhaps she should’ve consulted Angie before absconding with Howard’s child and bringing him to their home. Or, the one where Peggy gets tired of Howard’s negligence and does something about it. (complete - 3 chapters, 16k words)

Faithfully Yours by nofearqueerhere - Angie sends a letter overseas in a “write to our boys” campaign for the war effort. She doesn’t count on it falling into the hands of Agent Carter of the Strategic Scientific Reserve. But she doesn’t exactly complain, either. (complete - 13/13 chapters, 18k words)

Shoot: (Root/Sameen Shaw - Person of Interest)

the domestic hell series by enginerd - The machine has a funny sense of humor when it gives the team a new setof ID’s.  Suddenly Root and Shaw are married in the New York suburbsplaying house.  What happens when the machine puts you in a house that wasthe block Halloween Party house for years?  

OR: Root and Shaw are in suburbia throwing a Halloween party. God helpthem. (4 words in the series, all one shots between 10k-15k)

Kismet and Other Movements by aelysian - She can’t see her without craning her neck, but she can picture themischievous gleam in brown eyes, the sharp cuspids that add bite to the flirtysmile.

 “Are we playing, Sameen?  You haven’t told me what the rulesare.” Soulmate AU. (complete - 5 chapters, 17k words)

The 32nd Annual IFTEC by ionizable - University AU where Root and Shaw have been forced to work together to plan and run their school’s engineering competition. In no particular order, there will be: “oops I accidentally fell in love with you” Root, an excruciatingly slow build, jealous Shaw, jealous Root, donut thievery, eventual smut, backstories, nerdiness, things moving right along to the complex plane after the midpoint, and most importantly: cheesy science jokes! bad puns and corny jokes! (complete - 12 chapters, 41k words)

connective tissue by bightly_bightly - “In a world where you can always find something to die for, Root gives you everything to live for."Root and Shaw, feelings and sex. This started out as me wanting an excuse to write the line "If you want that, you’re gonna have to do better than pancakes and light bondage” and it just sort of… evolved. (Complete - 14 chapters, 50k words)

Natural Selection by kesdax - They keep their heads down. They survive. Until their number comes up. Post Season 3 finale. (complete - 14 chapters, 55k words)

Fish Out Of Water by donteatmyfingerprints - Completely AU. A mermaid. There is a mermaid in front of her. (Sooooo au, but so weirdly good. Complete - 3 chapters, 15k words)

Swan Queen: (Regina Mills/Emma Swan - Once Upon a Time)

Send Up a Signal (that everything’s fine) by coalitiongirl

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on asanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-underminedstar with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested.Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.

Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas. (complete - 21 chapters, 117k words)

and everything else by coalitiongirl. Really there are just too many to name.

step into my office baby by foxbones - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea. or, the one where they’re in an office. (complete - 16 chapters, 41k words)

Wedding Crasher by misscanteloupe - “My sister, Zelena,” she spits out the name like it’s poison, “Is getting married this weekend in California. My mother is potentially the biggest pain in the ass when it comes to who I take in as lovers. I need someone who will aggravate her to no end and keep her from meddling in the future.”

Emma blinks. “Why me?”

“My mother hates blondes.”

“Oh,” Emma says slowly, and god. She gets the feeling she’s signed herself up for one fucked up family reunion. “Cool.” (complete - 1 chapter, 6k words)

Deliver Me by wistfulwatcher -  “I was told a double rush order would be here in twenty minutes or less,” she said coolly, and gestured to the clock on the wall beside them. 

Looking over, Emma saw the face reading 6:45, just a few minutes past the twenty minute deadline. Eyes narrowing slightly, she licked her lips. “Yeah, it’s just a couple minutes past,” Emma said, and shifted her weight to one hip.

Tilting her chin up slightly she repeated, “Twenty minutes or less,” and Emma felt her head start to pound. What a way to end the day. (Complete - 5 chapters, 38k words)

A Fine Line by hunnyfresh - Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side. (Complete - 3 chapters, 18k words)

… I’ll see myself out. I hope you enjoy some!

[queercapwriting]

The Danvers Sisters and Their Girlfriends: Snowed In Edition

“Sanvers snuggled up during a snow storm...lots of fluff!!” prompt from @jordyn-m-51 and “Snowed in at the Luthor cabin in the mountains: supercorp :)” from @skierank and “I like the cabin idea! Maybe a double-date ski trip? (:“ from @whatdoidowiththisthing and “double date blanket burritos?” from @sandstonesunspear and even a dash of “protective Kara!” for @memoriesonawall

It turns out that winters in National City don’t agree with Maggie Sawyer.

It’s not that her oversized police jacket doesn’t keep her warm enough. That’s just the thing: it keeps her too warm.

She’s always too warm, because it’s always too warm in this damn city.

“She doesn’t miss Blue Springs, but she misses Nebraska, you know?” Alex sighs over a beer as she waits for Maggie to get done with a long shift, at the bar with Kara and Lena.

Kara brightens with an idea. “I can fly her up to the Fortress of Solitude!”

Alex leans across their booth and kisses her sister’s cheek, but shakes her head. “One, she hates flying. And two, I don’t think she needs it to be quite that cold.”

So it’s Lena, now, who perks up, her eyes glistening with the excitement of finally feeling like she can offer something to her future sisters-in-law.

“I have a cabin. In the mountains. Or, well, my family does, but mother doesn’t... it’s mine. And we could take a trip, the four of us. Or... or you could just go up with Maggie, that’s also -- “

“No, no, Lena, that... that sounds amazing. All four of us. A weekend-long double date. Wow. Thank you.” Alex grins and leans forward to cover Lena’s hand with her own, and Kara beams at the interaction, at the way it makes Lena light up.

And she stays lit up through their entire car ride -- Kara grumpily surrendering the driver’s seat to her sister and Maggie, but taking comfort in the fact that it means she can snuggle in the back seat with Lena -- because Alex and Kara fight over the radio, and she and Maggie conspire to undermine both of their Danvers girls’ music choices, and there’s laughter and a giddiness that Lena’s never really associated with anything but cheaply made, heteronormative romantic comedies.

“Damn, Luthor,” Maggie murmurs when she finally pulls up into the massive driveway of the mansion-like cabin. “This is the place?” 

Lena blushes and looks down, worried that perhaps it’s too much, that perhaps it’ll remind them where her family’s money comes from, that...

“It’s beautiful, Lee. Thank you for inviting us,” Kara kisses her temple, and Lena relaxes immediately.

They planned on skiing and snow tubing and lots of hot tub time. The first two in double date form, the last... distinctly as separate couples.

Lena and Alex were grateful that the walls of the cabin were sufficiently thick, but Kara bemoaned that they weren’t lead-lined, which resulted in Maggie teasing her; which resulted in a pillow fight that resulted in all four of them splayed across each other, breathless with exertion and laughter, tears streaking down their faces with how childish they found they could all be together. How free.

They planned on all the activities and the picture taking and the cuddles by the fire place.

They didn’t plan to get snowed in.

The morning the sky decides to precipitate, hard, in vast fluffy sheets that whip harshly in the wind, Lena ventures out into the local town to bring home lattes for them all while everyone else is still sleeping, Maggie wrapped in Alex’s arms and Alex with her feet still on Kara’s stomach from how they all passed out on a blanket fort in front of the fireplace last night.

Because sure, she could make lattes in the kitchen; but she could also go out and get some herself so she can also pick up those scones that Kara had been moaning and drooling over the day before.

None of the women stir from their deep rest -- the first truly peaceful rest any of them have gotten in far too long -- when Lena leaves, but she can’t prevent the cabin’s front door from slamming when she comes back in, hands full of lattes and scones and breakfast burritos.

“Lena!” Kara tosses Alex’s feet into the air, sending her into a sleepy tumble as she superspeeds toward her. “You went out in this? Look at you, you’re freezing! Alex, get the fire started up again! Lena, no, why -- listen to that wind, what were you thinking?”

Lena holds up the bag of scones sheepishly, blinking ice out of her eyelids and letting Maggie trade her a towel for the lattes. “I wanted to treat everyone,” she shrugs, and Kara melts as she strips Lena of her gloves and takes her hands between her own, breathing onto her fingertips and rubbing them between her warmer hands.

“Darling, I’m fine, I promise,” Lena smiles as she tilts her head forward to kiss her protective girlfriend, who looks about ready to bust out the front door and give the snow storm a piece of her mind.

“You’re so cute, sis,” Alex grins up at her from where she’s kneeling by the hearth, and Kara reddens and fidgets with the hem of her sweater since she’s not wearing her glasses.

“You’d do the same if it were Maggie,” she murmurs with a grin, and Maggie smirks as she leans down to kiss Alex with slightly parted lips.

“Mmm, that I would,” Alex concurs as she kisses Maggie back, hot and hard with just a touch of still-sleepy, until Lena and Kara clear their throats good-naturedly.

“Breakfast, dears,” Lena reminds them, and they take their time disentangling with soft laughter and even softer touches.

Alex is more than a little worried that she’ll get restless, get claustrophobic, get anxious, when it dawns on her just how bad the snow is outside.

Maggie kisses the back of her neck and holds her from behind, the two of them wrapped in the fluffiest blankets ever to fluff, as they feed each other breakfast.

It only takes a few moments for Alex’s potential panic to abate.

“They have the right idea about how to have breakfast, those two,” Lena murmurs to Kara, who eagerly pauses with a scone halfway to her mouth and switches its direction so she’s offering it to Lena’s lips instead.

“Holy crap, Little Danvers,” Maggie is awe-struck.

“You’ve literally threatened my life over the last potsticker!” Alex huffs, but her smile gives her away.

Lena beams as she accepts the scone Kara is feeding her -- the love she’s offering her -- and thinks this trip should definitely become an annual thing.

[tusmegaserieshd-com-blog]

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El pasante de Daily Planet, Clark Kent, lleva el aprendizaje en el trabajo a nuevos extremos cuando Lobo y Parasite ponen su mirada en Metrópolis en Superman: Man of Tomorrow, la próxima entrada en la popular serie de películas de DC Universe. Producida por Warner Bros. Animation y DC, la película animada de largometraje será lanzada por Warner Bros. Home Entertainment en Digital a partir del 23 de agosto de 2020, y en 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack y Blu-ray Combo Pack el 8 de septiembre de 2020 .

Superman: Man of Tomorrow estará disponible en 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray Combo Pack (EE.UU. $ 39.99 SRP; Canadá $ 44.98 SRP) y Blu-ray Combo Pack (EE.UU. $ 24.98 SRP; Canadá $ 29.98 SRP), así como en Digital. El paquete combinado 4K Ultra HD presenta un disco Blu-ray Ultra HD en 4K con HDR, un disco Blu-ray con la película en alta definición y una versión digital de la película. El paquete combinado de Blu-ray presenta un disco Blu-ray con la película en alta definición, un DVD con la película en definición estándar y una versión digital de la película.

Es el comienzo de una nueva era de héroes, y Metrópolis acaba de cumplir su primera. Pero mientras el pasante de Daily Planet, Clark Kent, que trabaja junto a la periodista Lois Lane, ejerce en secreto sus poderes alienígenas de vuelo, superfuerza y ​​visión de rayos X en la batalla por el bien, hay problemas aún mayores en el horizonte. Sigue al héroe en ciernes mientras participa en sangrientas batallas con el cazarrecompensas intergaláctico Lobo y lucha por su vida para detener el ataque del parásito alienígena hambriento de poder. El mundo aprenderá sobre Superman … pero primero, ¡Superman debe salvar al mundo!

El ganador del Emmy y el Golden Globe Award, Darren Criss (Glee, American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace) y el nominado al Emmy Zachary Quinto (franquicia de Star Trek, Heroes) lideran un elenco repleto de estrellas como las voces de Superman / Clark Kent y Lex Luthor , respectivamente. El elenco también incluye a Alexandra Daddario (San Andreas, Baywatch, All My Children) como Lois Lane, Brett Dalton (Agentes de SHIELD) como Parasite / Rudy Jones, Ryan Hurst (The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, Remember the Titans) como Lobo , Ike Amadi (Mass Effect 3, Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge) como Martian Manhunter, Neil Flynn (The Middle, Scrubs) como Jonathan Kent, Bellamy Young (Scandal, Prodigal Son) como Martha Kent, Cristina Milizia (DC Super Hero Girls) ) como Maya, Petey y Kaylie, Eugene Byrd (Bones, LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures) como Ron Troupe, April Stewart (South Park) como Mrs. Ross y Piotr Michael (The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle) como Perry White , así como Cissy Jones (Firewatch) y David Chen (Gotham).

Superman: Man of Tomorrow presenta una nueva visión de producción de la serie DC Universe Movies, que ahora cuenta con 41 películas en sus 13 años de existencia. El productor supervisor Butch Lukic tiene un rico pedigrí en producciones animadas de DC, sirviendo como productor en Constantine: City of Demons, Justice League Action y la franquicia Batman Unlimited, así como dirigiendo episodios de Justice League, Batman Beyond y Beware the Batman. Lukic trae una nueva estética visual a Superman: Man of Tomorrow que se aparta de los estilos de animación, de los productores anteriores Bruce Timm (23 películas) y James Tucker (17 películas), hasta ahora representados en las películas de DC Universe.

Chris Palmer (Voltron: Legendary Defender) es el director de Superman: Man of Tomorrow, utilizando un guión de Tim Sheridan (La muerte de Superman). Los productores son Jim Krieg (Batman: Gotham by Gaslight) y Kimberly S. Moreau (Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). El productor ejecutivo es Sam Register.

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Definition and definition of film / film

While the players who play a role in the film are referred to as actors (men) or actresses (women). There is also the term extras that are used as minor characters with few roles in the film. This differs from the main actors, who have larger and more roles. As an actor and actress, good acting talent must be required that corresponds to the subject of the film in which he plays the leading role. In certain scenes, the role of the actor can be replaced by a stunt man or a stunt man. The existence of a stuntman is important to replace the actors who play difficult and extreme scenes that are usually found in action-action films. Movies can also be used to deliver certain messages from the filmmaker. Some industries also use film to convey and represent their symbols and culture. Filmmaking is also a form of expression, thoughts, ideas, concepts, feelings and moods of a person that are visualized in the film. The film itself is mostly fictional, though some are based on actual stories or on a true story. There are also documentaries with original and real images or biographical films that tell the story of a character. There are many other popular genre films, from action films, horror films, comedy films, romantic films, fantasy films, thriller films, drama films, science fiction films, crime films, documentaries and others. This is some information about the definition of film or film. The information has been cited from various sources and references. Hope it can be useful. TV FILM The first television shows were experimental, sporadic programs that from the 1930s could only be seen at a very short distance from the mast. TV events such as the 1936 Summer Olympics in Germany, the crowning of King George VI. In Britain in 19340 and the famous launch of David Sarnoff at the 1939 New York World’s Fair in the United States, the medium grew, but World War II brought development to a halt after the war. The 19440 World MOVIE inspired many Americans to buy their first television, and in 1948 the popular Texaco Star Theater radio moved to become the first weekly television variety show that hosted Milton Berle and earned the name “Mr Television” demonstrated The medium was a stable, modern form of entertainment that could attract advertisers. The first national live television broadcast in the United States took place on September 4, 1951, when President Harry Truman’s speech at the Japanese Peace Treaty Conference in San Francisco on AT & T’s transcontinental cable and microwave relay system was broadcasting to broadcasters in local markets has been. The first national color show (the 1954 Rose Parade tournament) in the United States took place on January 1, 1954. For the next ten years, most network broadcasts and almost all local broadcasts continued to be broadcast in black and white. A color transition was announced for autumn 1965, in which more than half of all network prime time programs were broadcast in color. The first all-color peak season came just a year later. In 19402, the last holdout of daytime network shows was converted to the first full color network season.

??? formats and genres ???

See also: List of genres § Film and television formats and genres TV shows are more diverse than most other media due to the variety of formats and genres that can be presented. A show can be fictional (as in comedies and dramas) or non-fictional (as in documentary, news, and reality television). It can be current (as in the case of a local news program and some television films) or historical (as in the case of many documentaries and fictional films). They can be educational or educational in the first place, or entertaining, as is the case with situation comedies and game shows. [Citation required] A drama program usually consists of a series of actors who play characters in a historical or contemporary setting. The program follows their lives and adventures. Before the 1980s, shows (with the exception of soap opera series) generally remained static without storylines, and the main characters and premise barely changed. [Citation required] If the characters’ lives changed a bit during the episode, it was usually reversed in the end. For this reason, the episodes can be broadcast in any order. [Citation required] Since the 1980s, many FILMS have had a progressive change in the plot, characters, or both. For example, Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere were two of the first American prime time drama television films to have this kind of dramatic structure [4] [better source required], while the later MOVIE Babylon 5 further illustrated such a structure had a predetermined story about the planned five season run. [Citation required] In 2020, it was reported that television became a larger part of the revenue of large media companies than the film. Some also noticed the quality improvement of some television programs. In 2020, Oscar-winning film director Steven Soderbergh declared the ambiguity and complexity of character and narrative: “I think these qualities are now being seen on television and people who want to see stories with such qualities are watching TV. Thanks for everything and have fun watching Here you will find all the films that you can stream online, including the films that were shown this week. If you’re wondering what to see on this website, you should know that it covers genres that include crime, science, fi-fi, action, romance, thriller, comedy, drama, and anime film. Thanks a lot. We inform everyone who is happy to receive news or information about this year’s film program and how to watch your favorite films. Hopefully we can be the best partner for you to find recommendations for your favorite films. That’s all from us, greetings!

Thank you for watching The Video Today.

I hope you like the videos I share. Give a thumbs up, like or share if you like what we shared so we are more excited. Scatter a happy smile so that the world returns in a variety of colors.

[ao3feed-supercorp]

I'm Kara Danvers

by littlebrother

Supergirl. She was brave, selfless, kind, beautiful, and more powerful than any human could ever dream of being. Lena Luthor had always had a weakness for powerful women. Falling for Supergirl was all too easy, and the fact that she'd saved her life certainly didn't help. But what to do about Kara Danvers? The reporter seemed to have an unfortunate crush on the CEO of L-Corp, yet Lena's eyes were stubbornly fixed skywards. Add in the fact that Lena's brother was intent to kill her from behind bars, and Lena would find her life was about to become a whole lot more complicated.

Words: 2392, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F

Characters: Kara Danvers, Supergirl - Character, Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers, Lex Luthor

Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer

Additional Tags: Mistaken Identity, Drama, Comedy, Lena rides a motorbike, and is a badass, sort of

from AO3 works tagged 'Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor' http://ift.tt/2l4kCJe via IFTTT

[savetopnow]

2018-04-06 22 MOVIE now

MOVIE

Birth. Movies. Death.

SXSW 2018 Review: TAKE YOUR PILLS Shines A Light On An Alarming Problem

Is Denis Villeneuve Still Making a DUNE Movie? Nope! Now He’s Making TWO Of Them

FIRST MATCH Trailer Takes A Girl’s Troubles To The Mat

Wes Anderson And Bill Murray: A Cinematic Rapport

Book Review: S. Craig Zahler’s HUG CHICKENPENNY Is A Touching Gothic Parable

CineVue

Film Review: Wonderstruck

Film Review: Antonio Lopez 1970: Sex, Fashion & Disco

Film Review: 120 BPM (Beats Per Minute)

Film Review: A Quiet Place

Criterion Review: La Cage Aux Folles

Cinema Blend

Spyro The Dragon Is Getting Remastered, And He Looks Great

Nintendo Switch Headset Coming From Astro This Year

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Is A Trainwreck, But Also Kind Of Heartwarming

Arrow Just Delivered Another Big Blow To Team Arrow

World Of Warcraft's Battle For Azeroth Expansion Dated

Cinema Scope

Cinema Scope 74 Contents

The Work (Jairus McLeary & Gethin Aldous, US)

Global Discoveries on DVD: A Few Peripheral Matters

Canadiana | Hometown Horror: Robin Aubert’s Les affamés

Exploded View: Bruce Conner’s Crossroads

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[inkni]

The Most Anticipated of 2017

Okay, so, revelation: there’s a lot of entertainment to take in this year. The INK crew and I chose to review the entertainment we’re most anticipating and/or dreading this year (but you won’t see much of the latter from me). Lucky for you, my thoughts on this topic span more than one post. Because I’m indecisive me, I simplified my list of entertainment mediums under consideration to a whopping 4 categories: film, TV, music, and video games. Without further ado, here’s what I have my antennae up for this year.  

MOST ANTICIPATED…

IN FILM

Marvel Event (November 3): While Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2, and Spider-Man: Homecoming are taking up most of the limelight on publications’ “most anticipated” lists, my attention is on Thor: Ragnarok. With the most vibrant chemistry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), especially considering what a left turn Captain America and Iron Man’s relationship took, Thor and Loki and their stellar Asgard are enough to pique my interest. Add to that mix Anthony Hopkins, Cate Blanchett, Mark Ruffalo, Idris Elba, Jeff Goldblum, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tessa Thompson, and you have the most acclaimed cast for a Marvel film. Director Taika Waititi had one of 2016′s funniest and most honest comedies with Hunt for the Wilderpeople, so I expect he’ll bring a wonderfully fresh brand of quirky comedy to Marvel’s trademark jocularity. Thor is the most underrated series in the MCU, which won’t change this year under the shadow of Guardians and Spider-Man. And I’m ready for this to be Marvel’s “hidden gem.”

Filmic Adaptation (TBA): Jeanette Walls’ 2005 memoir, The Glass Castle, is such an intelligent and unflinching look at a dysfunctional family and survival amidst constant change, I fear some of its emotional nuance will be lost on the big screen. However, Walls’s story is in good hands with director Destin Cretton, whose Short Term 12 so effectively explored the uncertainty and fragility of human relationships in seemingly powerless situations. In a moment of true godsend, Cretton’s lead for that film, Oscar’s current best actress Brie Larson, takes on the role of Walls. She’s joined by a strong supporting cast of Naomi Watts, Woody Harrelson, and Max Greenfield. If it hits all the right notes, I expect we’ll be seeing much more of The Glass Castle come 2017′s awards season.

Movie With Toys (February 10): The most famous caped crusader + Lego + Mariah Carey = Need I say more?

Genre Mashup (July 28): Stephen King’s magnum opus of a series—or so many would call it—gets the theatrical treatment. In The Dark Tower, a 10-year-old boy, Jake, falls into a cutthroat, fantastical world where Idris Elba (Roland Deschain) is a knight fighting off monsters and sorcerers, the baddest of which is played by Matthew McConaughey (in what’s sure to be maniacally ruthless fashion). For Jake and Deschain, It’s not just a fight to rule the kingdom of Mid-World. They’re up against time too. Jake must make it to the Dark Tower of End-World to save Deschain’s Mid-World. Multiple dimensions, monsters, sorcerers, knights, and King’s trademark touch of horror make for 2017′s most intriguing mashup.

Most Dreading: More of Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor in Justice League. No interpretation of a character—especially one as classic as Lex—was as grating, infuriating, and just plain annoying as Eisenberg was in Batman v Superman. It was the sourest point in a film that got a way worse wrap than it deserved. Here’s to hoping they keep his screen time to a minimum (but we know they won’t). Watch (again) if you dare.

IN TV

Supernatural Entry (FX, February 8): Noah Hawley, showrunner of FX’s acclaimed Fargo series, decided it’s high time for X-Men to hit the small screen with a live-action format. The series follows Professor X’s son, Legion, as he discovers he’s more than his mental disorder. Dan Stevens, the Beast of Disney’s upcoming Beauty and the Beast, leads a cast that includes Parks and Rec alum Aubrey Plaza and the always-top-notch Jean Smart. I expect the show will provide a fruitful analysis of societal attitudes towards mental disability, but I hope it also sets the stage for a feast of visual effects.

Limited Miniseries (HBO, February 19): An absolutely knock-out, female-led cast—Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley, Laura Dern, Reese Witherspoon—heads to a small (seaside?) town for a look at the lives of three women in Big Little Lies. Kidman, Witherspoon, and Woodley star as as the trio that endures scandal, small-town agendas, and, well, lies. This adaptation of Liane Moriarty’s 2014 novel is under the direction of legendary dramedy scribe, David E. Kelley, and the man who brought us Wild and Dallas Buyer’s Club. Prepare yourself for killer performances, snappy dialogue, and brooding cinematography.

TV Adaptation (Hulu, April 26): Author Margaret Atwood is such a prolific and innovative author, so many of her offerings could find new life in today’s “Platinum Age” of TV. It makes sense, then, that Hulu would choose to adapt one of her more famous and accessible novels, The Handmaid’s Tale. The show is set in the dystopian Republic of Gilead, where pregnancies are scarce and certain women, known as Handmaids, are indentured baby machines. Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss stars as Offred, a Handmaid serving the Commander (Joseph Fiennes) and his wife (Yvonne Strahovski), who decides to end her hellish servitude. Intrigue awaits.

IN VIDEO GAMES

Vampyr (Xbox One, TBA): There’s the superhero fight-fest of Injustice 2 (please let it have a seemless narrative like Mortal Kombat IX); the Red Dead follow-up; Prey, a horror-action thriller from the Dishonored 2 team; and of course Mass Effect: Andromeda, which Mark discussed in detail. Then there’s Vampyr. Based on the Spanish flu epidemic that took over 1918 London, the game follows Jonathan Reid, a vampire doctor. His struggle is to balance his professional oath with his new bloodlust (i.e. study and kill his prey, oodles of innocent people). Overall, the semi-open world, role-playing format, and historical setting are reasons enough to call me intrigued.

[samanthasroberts]

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Usually, the factors that pull you out of your focus on a movie or TV show are external. Someone forgets to silence their cellphone, or your mom asks you a question about the plot, or your date from OKCupid decides that a matinee showing of Dunkirk is the perfect time to start getting handsy. That kind of thing. But sometimes it isn’t the fault of the unforgiving world around you. Sometimes movies and shows do the job themselves and awkwardly tear you from your haze, placing you in the uncomfortable territory of “Oh damn. I am watching something, and am terrifyingly aware of that.” How do movies stealthily slit the throat of their own escapism? Well, they do things like …

5

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

Despite the fact that modern TV is full of quality entertainment that would make movies break out in frustrated, jealous tears, it still operates on the archaic system of “Movies are where important things go, and TV is where you watch inconsequential drivel that serves as a placeholder for actual enjoyment.” Don’t believe me? Look at how shows treat guest stars who are mostly known from movies or other mediums. They are in awe of them. The camera lingers on them, telling you that while the regular cast is nice and all, you should now place your undivided attention on the god king who has just entered the room.

I’m always down for a good lingering camera if the context is right. Jeff Goldblum is returning for Jurassic World 2, and I will be deeply disappointed if his introduction shot stays at Beautiful Jeff Goldblum Face Level for anything less than 20 uninterrupted minutes. The same goes for when a character has seemingly died but then comes back triumphantly. When Lex Luthor showed up in the last episode of Smallville to remind viewers that Superman’s future would not lack bald megalomaniacs, the camera seems to be more thrilled about this than anyone. And it probably was, honestly. Being a living, breathing Smallville fan was not, how should I put this, a “fulfilling” experience.

But the pause that might as well double as a “Clap Now” sign reeks of desperation, and rips away any chance to view what you’re watching as smooth, organic fiction. I don’t demand absolute reality from things. There is NO ONE in the world worse than someone who can’t put their malfunction behind them for two fucking seconds and just HAS TO remind you that no, Batman couldn’t do that in real life. Those people are fun traitors. But when the camera stops to gaze at the bigger star who is encroaching on the lives of the peons who normally inhabit the show, it’s not just stopping the flow of the episode dead; it’s reminding you that Hollywood has a definite hierarchy. A being of shining light and multiple movie deals has deemed this cast of characters worth their time, and we should feel blessed on their behalf.

Even worse is that usually, these guest stars are pretty damn talented. When Steve Carell left The Office, the employees spent a few episodes trying to find a replacement for him. This led to a parade of guest stars like Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, and Jim Carrey, and you’d think that comedy powerhouses like these, when supplied with jokes on one of the best-written sitcoms of the 2000s, would provide an avalanche of humor. Homes destroyed and families torn apart from the sheer magnitude of the fucking comedy. But no, they just kind of shuffled through the show as the camera jammed itself into their pores, as if to scream “ISN’T IT COOL THAT WE GOT WILL GODDAMN ARNETT TO BE ON THE OFFICE? ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR WILL ARNETT FOR LOWERING HIMSELF ENOUGH TO BE HERE.”

4

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Dramatic shows that have any number of “good guys” require guest stars to keep going. Unless the creators of Law & Order want every plot to be “Ice T was the killer all along, but we forgave him, because aww, just look at him,” they need new talent to fill out the ranks of serial killers, pedophiles, and bartenders who just might have seen someone who looks like that. But this necessity has created a painfully obvious trend: Whenever a big name shows up in a series, they’re going to be doing big-name stuff. And apparently, big-name stuff always involves ruining the surprise.

I’ve talked about Dexter in a few columns because, really, I’m still coming to terms with it. You devote eight years of your life to a show, and then it ends with the plot equivalent of a drunk pissing on your head from a third-story balcony. So you begin to think really hard about whether it was ever that good. And I’ve come to this conclusion: Yeah, it had some really great parts, but man, it had the worst “I wonder what THIS guest star will do?” poker face in the industry.

The first two seasons of Dexter tell a perfectly contained story. And then in Season 3, Jimmy Smits swaggers in with a kind of “I’d like to get a beer with that guy” charisma that only Jimmy Smits really has. But then Jimmy Smits turns into EVIL Jimmy Smits, and Dexter has to kill him. Then John Lithgow shows up in Season 4, and while he’s great, the pattern is being established. By the time Colin Hanks burst into Season 6 with a plotline so terrible that it served as a Dexter Is Not Going To Get Good Again trumpet of the cancellation apocalypse, the standard had been set: If a new dude shows up on Dexter, that dude is almost 100 percent going to end up as Dexter’s table dressing.

Obviously, if an established actor shows up on a prestige TV drama, they’re going to be given a role with some meat to it. When William Hurt or whoever inevitably shows up on the fifth season of Westworld, they’re not going to be given the role of Blowjob Robot Bartender #4. They’re going to get Maniacal Douche Who Was Super Integral To The Creation Of Westworld Who We Never Really Discussed Before. And them basically spelling out what’s going to happen in the rest of the season or episode doesn’t stop them from giving a knockout performance. It just momentarily stops us from getting lost in the show.

It’s also admitting that we’ve kind of pigeonholed what we think makes for good, guest-star-worthy roles. Someone with any kind of positive qualities? Pssssh. Demented Man Child That Makes Tiny Doll Furniture Out Of His Victim’s Toenails? You can basically smell the Emmys on that one.

3

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

Having a sense of self-awareness can be helpful. It’s what prevents you from deciding that your show about six friends who live in New York City is a fresh idea, and it gives you a moment of hesitation when you think “A guy named Harry meets a girl named Sally. HOW HAS NO ONE COME UP WITH THAT?!?”

Even adding a little self-awareness to your story isn’t so bad if you do it in nice doses. The reason The Cabin In The Woods works so well is that it comments on horror film tropes, but doesn’t rely on that to be effective. Compare that to something like Scream 4, where hoping that you get the reference is all that that movie has going for it. The first two Scream films are neat little venture into the nature of horror movies and their sequels, but by the time Scream 4 rolled around, the series had looped back through its own butthole and out of its mouth again in order to prove that it was still relevant. And it wouldn’t have had to do that if it had done the basic job of a movie, instead of relying on blistering self-awareness.

Community at its best was a show with so, so much heart. The love that the writers had for the characters bleeds through, and it’s a passion project carefully disguised as a typical prime-time sitcom. And in its early seasons, the series pulled off self-awareness pretty effortlessly. And maybe it’s due to the fact that Community began to lose core cast members starting in the fifth season, and the last half of the show was plagued with a shuffling creative team, but the self-awareness which had initially set it apart from regular shows became a crutch. The emotional stakes were lost, and in their place were constant comments about the nature of TV, which is like hearing your cheeseburger explain its own ingredients while you try to eat it.

Even vague self-awareness can be jarring if it comes out of nowhere. Kingsman: The Secret Service is a fantastic movie when it’s not talking about the spy movies that it’s borderline-parodying. If that scene in which Colin Firth was taking out the church full of bigots was still going to this day, I’d be okay with it. And don’t act like there isn’t a version of “Freebird” that is three years long. I know there is.

But slapped in the middle of the movie is a conversation between Firth and Samuel L. Jackson about the nature of spy flicks, as if they’re assuming that the audiences that have not yet seen the movie are already a little “out of the know” about what it’s trying to do. Come on, movie. Give us some credit.

2

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

Movie soundtracks can do two very different things. They can heighten an experience, pulling you into the film in the way that a music-less scene could never do. They get your blood pumping without you even knowing, and pretty soon you’re first-pumping by yourself in the theater and screaming that you’ll be forever young at the top of your lungs. Hey, you’re doing it too, not necessarily just me. But a soundtrack can also drop you on your head, revealing that the movie that you’re watching is just a big marketing ploy by people who have figured that since you like Iron Man AND Ed Sheeran, putting both in the same movie at the same time will result in a dump truck full of dollar bills and hookers showing up to their houses.

How does it drop you from your cradle? Well, for one, it can bend the laws of time and space, forcing you to question why anyone would make a movie this way. Take the movie Hitch, for example, wherein Will Smith teaches dudes to talk to women, and teaches YOU to be more careful about picking out which Will Smith movies you go see. He teaches Kevin James how to dance in one scene, but starts his lesson by shutting off the music that’s playing at a party in the future? Future humans were dancing to that song, Will. Don’t cut a hole in the continuum of time when a motherfucker is trying to get down.

Will then puts on the song “Yeah!”, which you might remember from it being more popular than oxygen in the mid 2000s. And then Kevin James dances to “Yeah!” both at Will’s house and at this future party. My problem doesn’t lie with the song “Yeah!” showing up at two different places at two different times, because, again, I’ve heard “Yeah!” more than I’ve heard the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and “I love you” combined. It’s just that this scene is edited in a way that makes you realize A) Hitch is a wizard, and B) this movie is a shallow attempt at getting us to like the song “Yeah!” more.

And sometimes a movie will feature a song that’s performed by an actor in that movie. Like how Texas Chainsaw 3D plays the song “2 Reasons,” and one of the characters listening to it and enjoying it is Trey Songz, the guy who sang “2 Reasons.” That’s not a slight wink and a nudge, filmmakers. That’s a big invisible hand coming out of the screen to jar you out of whatever good things you might be feeling and reminding you to go download “2 Reasons,” because the actor who fucking made “2 Reasons” in real life seems to really be enjoying “2 Reasons” in this completely fake life. If you want to give the audience a cue to simultaneously begin ignoring the movie and start playing around on their phones for a little bit, this one is as good as any.

1

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

Earlier, I mentioned guest actors, and spoke pretty harshly of them. My apologies, guest actors. To make it up to you, the rest of this column will be written by John Stamos, and he will be playing the role of me. I make these amends because guest actors aren’t the worst things to take you out of TV shows. That honor goes to “event” episodes in which non-actors are given roles, and we’re supposed to be cool with it. “Suck it up,” your television says, “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be playing charades with people you pretend to like.”

The “events” I’m referring to are usually one of two things: musicians coming into town or pro wrestling events. And they’re so awkwardly crammed into the plots that you can’t help but feel your joy be driven from your body like a screeching ghost while you watch. Nothing says “No one wants to be here, especially the people on your screen” like a sitcom episode that features a rock star or a professional wrestler. For example, watch this clip of the time the band Anthrax showed up on Married With Children. But only do it if you want to see a dozen people lose their enthusiasm for the arts allllll at once.

If you watched that and found your sense of happiness to still be alive and breathing, watch Stevie Wonder’s appearance on The Cosby Show, the kind of thing that only happens when the Devil is handling God’s day shift. And if you still have any delusions about the positive power of fiction, dash them by staring into the abyss of any pro wrestler cameo on any sitcom ever — cameos that are usually announced by characters who are suddenly into wrasslin’. This, as a wrasslin’ fan, is absurd from the ground up. You don’t just suddenly declare that there’s a wrestling show near you and that you’re into wrestling. You are into wrestling, and your family and friends spend their whole lives wishing that you’d shut the fuck up about it.

These episodes usually involve either a member of the cast and their stunt doubles clumsily recreating what a sitcom director thinks wrestling is like (like in Fuller House or The X-Files), or finding a way to work the fact that most wrestlers are seven feet wide into the plot (like in Boy Meets World or Smallville). Admittedly, the wrestlers usually seem like they’re having a better time on the shows than musicians do. But nothing clips the wings of your flight into TV wonderland faster than the harsh introduction of pro wrestling logic into an otherwise normal show. “These five friends are on a mission to find success and love in the big city, and over the years, you will fall in love with their wit and their willingness to find pleasure in the small things in life. Oh, and meet their new landlord, Big Van Vader, who is roughly the size of a Woolly Mammoth.”

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/01/08/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/

[adambstingus]

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Usually, the factors that pull you out of your focus on a movie or TV show are external. Someone forgets to silence their cellphone, or your mom asks you a question about the plot, or your date from OKCupid decides that a matinee showing of Dunkirk is the perfect time to start getting handsy. That kind of thing. But sometimes it isn’t the fault of the unforgiving world around you. Sometimes movies and shows do the job themselves and awkwardly tear you from your haze, placing you in the uncomfortable territory of “Oh damn. I am watching something, and am terrifyingly aware of that.” How do movies stealthily slit the throat of their own escapism? Well, they do things like …

5

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

Despite the fact that modern TV is full of quality entertainment that would make movies break out in frustrated, jealous tears, it still operates on the archaic system of “Movies are where important things go, and TV is where you watch inconsequential drivel that serves as a placeholder for actual enjoyment.” Don’t believe me? Look at how shows treat guest stars who are mostly known from movies or other mediums. They are in awe of them. The camera lingers on them, telling you that while the regular cast is nice and all, you should now place your undivided attention on the god king who has just entered the room.

I’m always down for a good lingering camera if the context is right. Jeff Goldblum is returning for Jurassic World 2, and I will be deeply disappointed if his introduction shot stays at Beautiful Jeff Goldblum Face Level for anything less than 20 uninterrupted minutes. The same goes for when a character has seemingly died but then comes back triumphantly. When Lex Luthor showed up in the last episode of Smallville to remind viewers that Superman’s future would not lack bald megalomaniacs, the camera seems to be more thrilled about this than anyone. And it probably was, honestly. Being a living, breathing Smallville fan was not, how should I put this, a “fulfilling” experience.

But the pause that might as well double as a “Clap Now” sign reeks of desperation, and rips away any chance to view what you’re watching as smooth, organic fiction. I don’t demand absolute reality from things. There is NO ONE in the world worse than someone who can’t put their malfunction behind them for two fucking seconds and just HAS TO remind you that no, Batman couldn’t do that in real life. Those people are fun traitors. But when the camera stops to gaze at the bigger star who is encroaching on the lives of the peons who normally inhabit the show, it’s not just stopping the flow of the episode dead; it’s reminding you that Hollywood has a definite hierarchy. A being of shining light and multiple movie deals has deemed this cast of characters worth their time, and we should feel blessed on their behalf.

Even worse is that usually, these guest stars are pretty damn talented. When Steve Carell left The Office, the employees spent a few episodes trying to find a replacement for him. This led to a parade of guest stars like Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, and Jim Carrey, and you’d think that comedy powerhouses like these, when supplied with jokes on one of the best-written sitcoms of the 2000s, would provide an avalanche of humor. Homes destroyed and families torn apart from the sheer magnitude of the fucking comedy. But no, they just kind of shuffled through the show as the camera jammed itself into their pores, as if to scream “ISN’T IT COOL THAT WE GOT WILL GODDAMN ARNETT TO BE ON THE OFFICE? ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR WILL ARNETT FOR LOWERING HIMSELF ENOUGH TO BE HERE.”

4

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Dramatic shows that have any number of “good guys” require guest stars to keep going. Unless the creators of Law & Order want every plot to be “Ice T was the killer all along, but we forgave him, because aww, just look at him,” they need new talent to fill out the ranks of serial killers, pedophiles, and bartenders who just might have seen someone who looks like that. But this necessity has created a painfully obvious trend: Whenever a big name shows up in a series, they’re going to be doing big-name stuff. And apparently, big-name stuff always involves ruining the surprise.

I’ve talked about Dexter in a few columns because, really, I’m still coming to terms with it. You devote eight years of your life to a show, and then it ends with the plot equivalent of a drunk pissing on your head from a third-story balcony. So you begin to think really hard about whether it was ever that good. And I’ve come to this conclusion: Yeah, it had some really great parts, but man, it had the worst “I wonder what THIS guest star will do?” poker face in the industry.

The first two seasons of Dexter tell a perfectly contained story. And then in Season 3, Jimmy Smits swaggers in with a kind of “I’d like to get a beer with that guy” charisma that only Jimmy Smits really has. But then Jimmy Smits turns into EVIL Jimmy Smits, and Dexter has to kill him. Then John Lithgow shows up in Season 4, and while he’s great, the pattern is being established. By the time Colin Hanks burst into Season 6 with a plotline so terrible that it served as a Dexter Is Not Going To Get Good Again trumpet of the cancellation apocalypse, the standard had been set: If a new dude shows up on Dexter, that dude is almost 100 percent going to end up as Dexter’s table dressing.

Obviously, if an established actor shows up on a prestige TV drama, they’re going to be given a role with some meat to it. When William Hurt or whoever inevitably shows up on the fifth season of Westworld, they’re not going to be given the role of Blowjob Robot Bartender #4. They’re going to get Maniacal Douche Who Was Super Integral To The Creation Of Westworld Who We Never Really Discussed Before. And them basically spelling out what’s going to happen in the rest of the season or episode doesn’t stop them from giving a knockout performance. It just momentarily stops us from getting lost in the show.

It’s also admitting that we’ve kind of pigeonholed what we think makes for good, guest-star-worthy roles. Someone with any kind of positive qualities? Pssssh. Demented Man Child That Makes Tiny Doll Furniture Out Of His Victim’s Toenails? You can basically smell the Emmys on that one.

3

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

Having a sense of self-awareness can be helpful. It’s what prevents you from deciding that your show about six friends who live in New York City is a fresh idea, and it gives you a moment of hesitation when you think “A guy named Harry meets a girl named Sally. HOW HAS NO ONE COME UP WITH THAT?!?”

Even adding a little self-awareness to your story isn’t so bad if you do it in nice doses. The reason The Cabin In The Woods works so well is that it comments on horror film tropes, but doesn’t rely on that to be effective. Compare that to something like Scream 4, where hoping that you get the reference is all that that movie has going for it. The first two Scream films are neat little venture into the nature of horror movies and their sequels, but by the time Scream 4 rolled around, the series had looped back through its own butthole and out of its mouth again in order to prove that it was still relevant. And it wouldn’t have had to do that if it had done the basic job of a movie, instead of relying on blistering self-awareness.

Community at its best was a show with so, so much heart. The love that the writers had for the characters bleeds through, and it’s a passion project carefully disguised as a typical prime-time sitcom. And in its early seasons, the series pulled off self-awareness pretty effortlessly. And maybe it’s due to the fact that Community began to lose core cast members starting in the fifth season, and the last half of the show was plagued with a shuffling creative team, but the self-awareness which had initially set it apart from regular shows became a crutch. The emotional stakes were lost, and in their place were constant comments about the nature of TV, which is like hearing your cheeseburger explain its own ingredients while you try to eat it.

Even vague self-awareness can be jarring if it comes out of nowhere. Kingsman: The Secret Service is a fantastic movie when it’s not talking about the spy movies that it’s borderline-parodying. If that scene in which Colin Firth was taking out the church full of bigots was still going to this day, I’d be okay with it. And don’t act like there isn’t a version of “Freebird” that is three years long. I know there is.

But slapped in the middle of the movie is a conversation between Firth and Samuel L. Jackson about the nature of spy flicks, as if they’re assuming that the audiences that have not yet seen the movie are already a little “out of the know” about what it’s trying to do. Come on, movie. Give us some credit.

2

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

Movie soundtracks can do two very different things. They can heighten an experience, pulling you into the film in the way that a music-less scene could never do. They get your blood pumping without you even knowing, and pretty soon you’re first-pumping by yourself in the theater and screaming that you’ll be forever young at the top of your lungs. Hey, you’re doing it too, not necessarily just me. But a soundtrack can also drop you on your head, revealing that the movie that you’re watching is just a big marketing ploy by people who have figured that since you like Iron Man AND Ed Sheeran, putting both in the same movie at the same time will result in a dump truck full of dollar bills and hookers showing up to their houses.

How does it drop you from your cradle? Well, for one, it can bend the laws of time and space, forcing you to question why anyone would make a movie this way. Take the movie Hitch, for example, wherein Will Smith teaches dudes to talk to women, and teaches YOU to be more careful about picking out which Will Smith movies you go see. He teaches Kevin James how to dance in one scene, but starts his lesson by shutting off the music that’s playing at a party in the future? Future humans were dancing to that song, Will. Don’t cut a hole in the continuum of time when a motherfucker is trying to get down.

Will then puts on the song “Yeah!”, which you might remember from it being more popular than oxygen in the mid 2000s. And then Kevin James dances to “Yeah!” both at Will’s house and at this future party. My problem doesn’t lie with the song “Yeah!” showing up at two different places at two different times, because, again, I’ve heard “Yeah!” more than I’ve heard the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and “I love you” combined. It’s just that this scene is edited in a way that makes you realize A) Hitch is a wizard, and B) this movie is a shallow attempt at getting us to like the song “Yeah!” more.

And sometimes a movie will feature a song that’s performed by an actor in that movie. Like how Texas Chainsaw 3D plays the song “2 Reasons,” and one of the characters listening to it and enjoying it is Trey Songz, the guy who sang “2 Reasons.” That’s not a slight wink and a nudge, filmmakers. That’s a big invisible hand coming out of the screen to jar you out of whatever good things you might be feeling and reminding you to go download “2 Reasons,” because the actor who fucking made “2 Reasons” in real life seems to really be enjoying “2 Reasons” in this completely fake life. If you want to give the audience a cue to simultaneously begin ignoring the movie and start playing around on their phones for a little bit, this one is as good as any.

1

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

Earlier, I mentioned guest actors, and spoke pretty harshly of them. My apologies, guest actors. To make it up to you, the rest of this column will be written by John Stamos, and he will be playing the role of me. I make these amends because guest actors aren’t the worst things to take you out of TV shows. That honor goes to “event” episodes in which non-actors are given roles, and we’re supposed to be cool with it. “Suck it up,” your television says, “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be playing charades with people you pretend to like.”

The “events” I’m referring to are usually one of two things: musicians coming into town or pro wrestling events. And they’re so awkwardly crammed into the plots that you can’t help but feel your joy be driven from your body like a screeching ghost while you watch. Nothing says “No one wants to be here, especially the people on your screen” like a sitcom episode that features a rock star or a professional wrestler. For example, watch this clip of the time the band Anthrax showed up on Married With Children. But only do it if you want to see a dozen people lose their enthusiasm for the arts allllll at once.

If you watched that and found your sense of happiness to still be alive and breathing, watch Stevie Wonder’s appearance on The Cosby Show, the kind of thing that only happens when the Devil is handling God’s day shift. And if you still have any delusions about the positive power of fiction, dash them by staring into the abyss of any pro wrestler cameo on any sitcom ever — cameos that are usually announced by characters who are suddenly into wrasslin’. This, as a wrasslin’ fan, is absurd from the ground up. You don’t just suddenly declare that there’s a wrestling show near you and that you’re into wrestling. You are into wrestling, and your family and friends spend their whole lives wishing that you’d shut the fuck up about it.

These episodes usually involve either a member of the cast and their stunt doubles clumsily recreating what a sitcom director thinks wrestling is like (like in Fuller House or The X-Files), or finding a way to work the fact that most wrestlers are seven feet wide into the plot (like in Boy Meets World or Smallville). Admittedly, the wrestlers usually seem like they’re having a better time on the shows than musicians do. But nothing clips the wings of your flight into TV wonderland faster than the harsh introduction of pro wrestling logic into an otherwise normal show. “These five friends are on a mission to find success and love in the big city, and over the years, you will fall in love with their wit and their willingness to find pleasure in the small things in life. Oh, and meet their new landlord, Big Van Vader, who is roughly the size of a Woolly Mammoth.”

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181849531207

[allofbeercom]

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Usually, the factors that pull you out of your focus on a movie or TV show are external. Someone forgets to silence their cellphone, or your mom asks you a question about the plot, or your date from OKCupid decides that a matinee showing of Dunkirk is the perfect time to start getting handsy. That kind of thing. But sometimes it isn’t the fault of the unforgiving world around you. Sometimes movies and shows do the job themselves and awkwardly tear you from your haze, placing you in the uncomfortable territory of “Oh damn. I am watching something, and am terrifyingly aware of that.” How do movies stealthily slit the throat of their own escapism? Well, they do things like …

5

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

Despite the fact that modern TV is full of quality entertainment that would make movies break out in frustrated, jealous tears, it still operates on the archaic system of “Movies are where important things go, and TV is where you watch inconsequential drivel that serves as a placeholder for actual enjoyment.” Don’t believe me? Look at how shows treat guest stars who are mostly known from movies or other mediums. They are in awe of them. The camera lingers on them, telling you that while the regular cast is nice and all, you should now place your undivided attention on the god king who has just entered the room.

I’m always down for a good lingering camera if the context is right. Jeff Goldblum is returning for Jurassic World 2, and I will be deeply disappointed if his introduction shot stays at Beautiful Jeff Goldblum Face Level for anything less than 20 uninterrupted minutes. The same goes for when a character has seemingly died but then comes back triumphantly. When Lex Luthor showed up in the last episode of Smallville to remind viewers that Superman’s future would not lack bald megalomaniacs, the camera seems to be more thrilled about this than anyone. And it probably was, honestly. Being a living, breathing Smallville fan was not, how should I put this, a “fulfilling” experience.

But the pause that might as well double as a “Clap Now” sign reeks of desperation, and rips away any chance to view what you’re watching as smooth, organic fiction. I don’t demand absolute reality from things. There is NO ONE in the world worse than someone who can’t put their malfunction behind them for two fucking seconds and just HAS TO remind you that no, Batman couldn’t do that in real life. Those people are fun traitors. But when the camera stops to gaze at the bigger star who is encroaching on the lives of the peons who normally inhabit the show, it’s not just stopping the flow of the episode dead; it’s reminding you that Hollywood has a definite hierarchy. A being of shining light and multiple movie deals has deemed this cast of characters worth their time, and we should feel blessed on their behalf.

Even worse is that usually, these guest stars are pretty damn talented. When Steve Carell left The Office, the employees spent a few episodes trying to find a replacement for him. This led to a parade of guest stars like Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, and Jim Carrey, and you’d think that comedy powerhouses like these, when supplied with jokes on one of the best-written sitcoms of the 2000s, would provide an avalanche of humor. Homes destroyed and families torn apart from the sheer magnitude of the fucking comedy. But no, they just kind of shuffled through the show as the camera jammed itself into their pores, as if to scream “ISN’T IT COOL THAT WE GOT WILL GODDAMN ARNETT TO BE ON THE OFFICE? ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR WILL ARNETT FOR LOWERING HIMSELF ENOUGH TO BE HERE.”

4

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Dramatic shows that have any number of “good guys” require guest stars to keep going. Unless the creators of Law & Order want every plot to be “Ice T was the killer all along, but we forgave him, because aww, just look at him,” they need new talent to fill out the ranks of serial killers, pedophiles, and bartenders who just might have seen someone who looks like that. But this necessity has created a painfully obvious trend: Whenever a big name shows up in a series, they’re going to be doing big-name stuff. And apparently, big-name stuff always involves ruining the surprise.

I’ve talked about Dexter in a few columns because, really, I’m still coming to terms with it. You devote eight years of your life to a show, and then it ends with the plot equivalent of a drunk pissing on your head from a third-story balcony. So you begin to think really hard about whether it was ever that good. And I’ve come to this conclusion: Yeah, it had some really great parts, but man, it had the worst “I wonder what THIS guest star will do?” poker face in the industry.

The first two seasons of Dexter tell a perfectly contained story. And then in Season 3, Jimmy Smits swaggers in with a kind of “I’d like to get a beer with that guy” charisma that only Jimmy Smits really has. But then Jimmy Smits turns into EVIL Jimmy Smits, and Dexter has to kill him. Then John Lithgow shows up in Season 4, and while he’s great, the pattern is being established. By the time Colin Hanks burst into Season 6 with a plotline so terrible that it served as a Dexter Is Not Going To Get Good Again trumpet of the cancellation apocalypse, the standard had been set: If a new dude shows up on Dexter, that dude is almost 100 percent going to end up as Dexter’s table dressing.

Obviously, if an established actor shows up on a prestige TV drama, they’re going to be given a role with some meat to it. When William Hurt or whoever inevitably shows up on the fifth season of Westworld, they’re not going to be given the role of Blowjob Robot Bartender #4. They’re going to get Maniacal Douche Who Was Super Integral To The Creation Of Westworld Who We Never Really Discussed Before. And them basically spelling out what’s going to happen in the rest of the season or episode doesn’t stop them from giving a knockout performance. It just momentarily stops us from getting lost in the show.

It’s also admitting that we’ve kind of pigeonholed what we think makes for good, guest-star-worthy roles. Someone with any kind of positive qualities? Pssssh. Demented Man Child That Makes Tiny Doll Furniture Out Of His Victim’s Toenails? You can basically smell the Emmys on that one.

3

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

Having a sense of self-awareness can be helpful. It’s what prevents you from deciding that your show about six friends who live in New York City is a fresh idea, and it gives you a moment of hesitation when you think “A guy named Harry meets a girl named Sally. HOW HAS NO ONE COME UP WITH THAT?!?”

Even adding a little self-awareness to your story isn’t so bad if you do it in nice doses. The reason The Cabin In The Woods works so well is that it comments on horror film tropes, but doesn’t rely on that to be effective. Compare that to something like Scream 4, where hoping that you get the reference is all that that movie has going for it. The first two Scream films are neat little venture into the nature of horror movies and their sequels, but by the time Scream 4 rolled around, the series had looped back through its own butthole and out of its mouth again in order to prove that it was still relevant. And it wouldn’t have had to do that if it had done the basic job of a movie, instead of relying on blistering self-awareness.

Community at its best was a show with so, so much heart. The love that the writers had for the characters bleeds through, and it’s a passion project carefully disguised as a typical prime-time sitcom. And in its early seasons, the series pulled off self-awareness pretty effortlessly. And maybe it’s due to the fact that Community began to lose core cast members starting in the fifth season, and the last half of the show was plagued with a shuffling creative team, but the self-awareness which had initially set it apart from regular shows became a crutch. The emotional stakes were lost, and in their place were constant comments about the nature of TV, which is like hearing your cheeseburger explain its own ingredients while you try to eat it.

Even vague self-awareness can be jarring if it comes out of nowhere. Kingsman: The Secret Service is a fantastic movie when it’s not talking about the spy movies that it’s borderline-parodying. If that scene in which Colin Firth was taking out the church full of bigots was still going to this day, I’d be okay with it. And don’t act like there isn’t a version of “Freebird” that is three years long. I know there is.

But slapped in the middle of the movie is a conversation between Firth and Samuel L. Jackson about the nature of spy flicks, as if they’re assuming that the audiences that have not yet seen the movie are already a little “out of the know” about what it’s trying to do. Come on, movie. Give us some credit.

2

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

Movie soundtracks can do two very different things. They can heighten an experience, pulling you into the film in the way that a music-less scene could never do. They get your blood pumping without you even knowing, and pretty soon you’re first-pumping by yourself in the theater and screaming that you’ll be forever young at the top of your lungs. Hey, you’re doing it too, not necessarily just me. But a soundtrack can also drop you on your head, revealing that the movie that you’re watching is just a big marketing ploy by people who have figured that since you like Iron Man AND Ed Sheeran, putting both in the same movie at the same time will result in a dump truck full of dollar bills and hookers showing up to their houses.

How does it drop you from your cradle? Well, for one, it can bend the laws of time and space, forcing you to question why anyone would make a movie this way. Take the movie Hitch, for example, wherein Will Smith teaches dudes to talk to women, and teaches YOU to be more careful about picking out which Will Smith movies you go see. He teaches Kevin James how to dance in one scene, but starts his lesson by shutting off the music that’s playing at a party in the future? Future humans were dancing to that song, Will. Don’t cut a hole in the continuum of time when a motherfucker is trying to get down.

Will then puts on the song “Yeah!”, which you might remember from it being more popular than oxygen in the mid 2000s. And then Kevin James dances to “Yeah!” both at Will’s house and at this future party. My problem doesn’t lie with the song “Yeah!” showing up at two different places at two different times, because, again, I’ve heard “Yeah!” more than I’ve heard the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and “I love you” combined. It’s just that this scene is edited in a way that makes you realize A) Hitch is a wizard, and B) this movie is a shallow attempt at getting us to like the song “Yeah!” more.

And sometimes a movie will feature a song that’s performed by an actor in that movie. Like how Texas Chainsaw 3D plays the song “2 Reasons,” and one of the characters listening to it and enjoying it is Trey Songz, the guy who sang “2 Reasons.” That’s not a slight wink and a nudge, filmmakers. That’s a big invisible hand coming out of the screen to jar you out of whatever good things you might be feeling and reminding you to go download “2 Reasons,” because the actor who fucking made “2 Reasons” in real life seems to really be enjoying “2 Reasons” in this completely fake life. If you want to give the audience a cue to simultaneously begin ignoring the movie and start playing around on their phones for a little bit, this one is as good as any.

1

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

Earlier, I mentioned guest actors, and spoke pretty harshly of them. My apologies, guest actors. To make it up to you, the rest of this column will be written by John Stamos, and he will be playing the role of me. I make these amends because guest actors aren’t the worst things to take you out of TV shows. That honor goes to “event” episodes in which non-actors are given roles, and we’re supposed to be cool with it. “Suck it up,” your television says, “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be playing charades with people you pretend to like.”

The “events” I’m referring to are usually one of two things: musicians coming into town or pro wrestling events. And they’re so awkwardly crammed into the plots that you can’t help but feel your joy be driven from your body like a screeching ghost while you watch. Nothing says “No one wants to be here, especially the people on your screen” like a sitcom episode that features a rock star or a professional wrestler. For example, watch this clip of the time the band Anthrax showed up on Married With Children. But only do it if you want to see a dozen people lose their enthusiasm for the arts allllll at once.

If you watched that and found your sense of happiness to still be alive and breathing, watch Stevie Wonder’s appearance on The Cosby Show, the kind of thing that only happens when the Devil is handling God’s day shift. And if you still have any delusions about the positive power of fiction, dash them by staring into the abyss of any pro wrestler cameo on any sitcom ever — cameos that are usually announced by characters who are suddenly into wrasslin’. This, as a wrasslin’ fan, is absurd from the ground up. You don’t just suddenly declare that there’s a wrestling show near you and that you’re into wrestling. You are into wrestling, and your family and friends spend their whole lives wishing that you’d shut the fuck up about it.

These episodes usually involve either a member of the cast and their stunt doubles clumsily recreating what a sitcom director thinks wrestling is like (like in Fuller House or The X-Files), or finding a way to work the fact that most wrestlers are seven feet wide into the plot (like in Boy Meets World or Smallville). Admittedly, the wrestlers usually seem like they’re having a better time on the shows than musicians do. But nothing clips the wings of your flight into TV wonderland faster than the harsh introduction of pro wrestling logic into an otherwise normal show. “These five friends are on a mission to find success and love in the big city, and over the years, you will fall in love with their wit and their willingness to find pleasure in the small things in life. Oh, and meet their new landlord, Big Van Vader, who is roughly the size of a Woolly Mammoth.”

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/